Fox and Squirrel Pt. 8

I want to warn you, my chronological order may be messed up, because my memory sucks.

Part 8- Eager To Ride
We made our way back to the lockers to change. On our way, we stopped at one those little outdoor showers usually found at public pools and water parks. These are commonly used to rinse yourself off before you get in the water, for hygienic purposes. They are also used after you've gotten wet, to rinse off the chlorine. But I use these showers for a special purpose. Ever notice how horribly cold it is the first few moments you get in a swimming pool? I've discovered that getting wet before you get in tends to cushion the blow and make it easier for your body to acclimate to the temperature of the water you're in. However, at the Great Escape, I have never experienced that terrible coldness while swimming in Splashwater Kingdom. I'm not sure why, but the water is always pleasant.

Acacia and I rinsed ourselves off with the warm water, which I found to be decidedly less pleasant than the cool waters of the slides and pools. Afterwards, we walked into the locker rooms, which echoed with the sounds of screaming children and gossiping guests. We collected our clothes, and herded into the same changing stall we had used to wriggle into our bathing suits. The cement floor was slick with water from all the bathers who come had come and gone throughout the day. I tried very hard not to drop anything. We dried ourselves off with our damp towels, and struggled into our clothes. The hardest part was getting into my shoes and socks, without getting my socks wet on the cement floor. I couldn't sit down to put them on, because unfortunately, there wasn't a bench in that changing stall. It was during this battle to change our clothes inside a damp tiny cell that Acacia told me she had dropped her bathing suit bottoms in the parking lot. She had been wearing her shorts and underwear the entire time in the water park, and would now have to walk around all day in damp shorts. But she didn't complain; she accepted her lot, whereas I would have bemoaned my ill fate.

We left Splashwater Kingdom. It is strange, while the only thing that separates Splashwater Kingdom and the rest of The Great Escape is an arch (bearing the title: Splashwater Kingdom), the two parts of the park are entirely foreign. They are two different worlds, but I am not sure how I can describe it. For one thing, the water park is brighter. There are less trees in the area, so the sun beats down upon the water and the cement. But despite this, it is much cooler than the rest of the park, possibly because of the presence of water, or because when you're wearing a bathing suit you've got more skin exposed and are thus cooler as a result. Your bathing suit being damp doesn't hurt either.

We wandered the park, deciding what to ride next. Acacia and I decided to ride The Comet. The Comet is, as you know, a wooden roller coaster, which was restored by the Great Escape. It's one of my favorite rides at the park, for I do prefer wooden roller coasters over steel. Acacia and I got into line; it was not horribly long, though there was a large group of hyperactive kids in front of us. Kids always seem eager to ride this coaster, but I've never figured out why.

When it was our turn, we climbed into the old fashioned cars (though not before putting our bags and glasses in the provided cubbies). There are two trains of cars, one red and one blue, I think we may have gotten the blue one, but I'm not entirely sure. Regardless of the car's color, we buckled the orange seat belts (I remember that) and lowered the foam-padded lap bar. Then, after the speech regarding safety precautions, the ride started.

The ride started out slowly, the track still low to the ground. I wasn't afraid, only excited, the first time I rode this coaster without any fear. The cars began to ascend the hill, the chain pulling us up, clacking and grinding. It rose high and higher, and finally we went rushing down the steep hill, the wind in our faces, screaming, you guessed it, a Hetalia reference. I had my hands in the air, screaming in joy. I kept my hands up for most of the thrilling ride, through sharp turns and swooping drops. I kept my arms in the air until the coaster jumped suddenly, and I felt myself being pitched out of the car! It isn't unusual for one's ass to briefly leave the seat during a roller coaster ride, but this time, my body had somehow swerved to the left, putting me at risk of being an amusement park casualty. The near danger lasted only for a moment however, for I grabbed the bar, pulled my self back into the seat and held on for the rest of the ride.

When the ride was over, we collected our things and went to the kiosk where they sell the photos they took of you on the ride. This is very common on a lot of roller coasters, log flumes and other thrill rides, to take a picture of riders when they're at a certain point in the ride, to capture the amusing expressions they make. Some people flash the camera or flip the bird. Acacia and I did neither of those things. What I noticed about our snapshot, was that I looked eerily like my mother in it. We decided not to buy the photos (not because of our appearances, but because we lacked sufficient funds.) and made our way to the Fest Area of the park to experience more rides.

Like most of my memoirs, my chronological memory is very hazy. I do recall that we were worried about the time the park would close. It was around two or three in the afternoon, and we wanted as much time in the park as possible. I began to feel a manic urge to get on as many rides as possible. One of these rides I frantically hopped aboard was The Pirate Ship. This ride ends up in a lot of my memoirs, for it is ubiquitous in the amusement park world. Every park, carnival, and county fair will feature one if they have the space and the money, because it is such a popular ride. It is a thrill ride that most people can enjoy (though I have witnessed them turning away children that are too short or people who are obese; the latter because the safety bar could not fit over their bellies), for it is not too extreme, but still packs a punch.

We got in line, hoping to get the very back seats (for those go the highest in the air). That was not our fate of course, for the skinny, bratty girls in front of us had that dubious honor. It is the cold hard fact of amusement parks, that the people in front of you always grab the seats that you want, whether you wanted it because of it's placement (such as the back seats of the Pirate) or if you wanted it because of it's color or design. It becomes a habit, when you're in line for a ride to give the people in front of you the evil eye, almost daring them to grab that seat you want, willing them, commanding them (inside your head of course, lest you look like a lunatic) to stay the fuck away from that seat you so desire. These death glares must be subtle of course, for you may be discovered.

We sat down in the third row, near the stern (the second row naturally having been taken over by another group of tween girls). The safety bar lowered automatically and the ride started. The group of young girls behind us, were screaming like it was the scariest thing they had ever been on. As we soared in the air, I rolled my eyes and laughed.

The ride was short, too short for my tastes. I like my thrill rides to be pretty lengthy, but it seems that they like to run them for only two or three minutes, especially if the waiting line is long. They need to make the ride fast to make the line move fast. But the line wasn't really long today, so that wasn't a problem. I don't know why amusement park rides have to run so short. We got off the ride, and gathered our things. Among our belongings, we had the addition of a coke cup. Acacia had purchased a coke right before we left the water park, and we had shared it. When the coke was gone, we filled the cup with water from the drinking fountains. Eventually when the cubes melted we got rid of it, but the coke cup would later be replaced.

After this, we made the not so sage decision to ride The Alpine Bobsled. I've described this ride before. It's a roller coaster inspired by bobsledding, with a nice Winter Olympics theme. Instead of traditional tracks, the bobsled modeled cars speed down a luge track. It can actually be dangerous; a woman died when her sled went off the tracks and crashed. Also, because of the poor neck and shoulder support on this ride, it is very easy to experience whiplash. I consider it the park's worst ride when it comes to safety and rider comfort.

The line for this was actually kind of long. The people in front of us were eavesdropping on our conversation, but to be polite we let them in on our discussions about Hetalia and American Indian culture.

When we made it to the station where people entered and exited the ride, Acacia and I started discussing which bobsled we would get. As I've mentioned in previous memoirs, the bobsleds are emblazoned with different international flags, coinciding with the Olympic theme. There is America, Canada, Britain, France, Italy, Switzerland, and Jamaica. Since we had been discussing Hetalia all day (which is an anime about the different countries that fought in WW2, it's cute and strange), what country we got was of great importance. We wanted Italy, or Canada, because Italy was my favorite and Canada is Acacia's favorite. Britain or France would also be acceptable, as would Switzerland or the United States. But we did not want Jamaica (though I used to want that one when I was a kid, because of the film Cool Runnings) because Jamaica is not in Axis Powers Hetalia. While we waited, we let some people go ahead of us so they could remain with their group, I don't usually like letting people cut in front of me though, but since it was an older woman with a child who politely asked for this, I relented.
Waiting in line for roller coasters reminds me of herding livestock. From the large single line, you branch off into a group of smaller lines, which are sectioned off by gates and bars. This method determines where you sit on the ride, in the front or the back. It can, at times be a little confusing and frustrating. Sometimes they have special lines that get you to the very front of the coaster, but they have none of that nonsense on this ride.

I can not remember which country was on our bobsled. It was either Italy or Canada, one of the very countries we had desired! I think for sure, that it was Italy, for I recall crying "Pasta!" a few times, disturbing the people who had been in line in front of us. We lowered the lap bars and got ready for the ride to start. I wasn't going to take off my glasses for this coaster, probably because it didn't have so many steep drops and it did not go upside down.

The ride started, and I found that I liked it a lot less than I used to. Yes, it was fast, but it was awkward, and contained too many sudden stops. Every time it would lurch or stop suddenly, my neck would jerk forward painfully, and my breasts and stomach would slam into the lap bar, causing further pain. The sound of the wheels on the luge, was unpleasant to my ears. All in all, I really hated riding this, and it put me in a bad mood. When we exited the ride, I complained about how unsafe the Alpine Bobsled was. They need better head and neck support for this ride, or they need someone to operate the damn thing properly. Maybe they need both.
We continued on our way; I was still worried about how much time we could have in the park. We would try to squeeze in a few more rides, maybe even get something to eat. Read all about it in my next entry!

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 7

It seems this memoir is running longer than the others that I've written. I certainly hope what few readers I have can keep up.

Part 7: The Church of the Bucket
It was our turn, and it was too late to change our minds. Acacia and I settled down in our clover shaped inner tube; we sat across from each other diagonally, in order to even out the weight distribution. Then we let the current whip us down the slide.
The drop was very steep, much steeper than the Mega Wedgie, and the speed we were traveling at was much faster as well. It was so fast and wild, that when the inner tube shot out into the funnel that gives the ride it's moniker, I didn't even realize it. My ignorance was short-lived however, for I looked down and saw that we were twenty feet in the air, up the side of the giant funnel. I made a noise of surprise and shock (perhaps some expletives were involved as well), and Acacia laughed at the expression on my face.
We slid up and down the sides of the tunnel (it's placed horizontally, as opposed to vertically, so instead of spinning inside the funnel, you go up the sides) several times, until our momentum slowed down. Then we shot out the bottom of the tunnel and landed with a giant splash into the pool. What fun that slide was! I had been slightly frightened and highly delighted. We floated in our inner tube for a few moments, the sun shining on us. I felt exposed, for I knew the people still waiting in line were watching us, waiting to see when we would get off our tube and get out of the water. I had wanted to float into the shallows, and I think we may have, but it was more likely that we quickly dismounted from the tube and dragged the cumbersome bastard out of the water.

We left The Tornado, laughing about how shocked we were when we realized we were up on the side of the funnel. We collected our towels and Acacia's sandals from the place we left them, having to lean over a  man, who was lounging in a chair next to the fence we placed our things on. It was pretty awkward, but I'm sure he didn't mind.
We walked down to Paul Bunyan's Bucket Brigade, which is a large aquatic playground that boasts ' over 150 ways to get wet'. The tree-house like, five-story edifice that resembles an over-sized jungle gym is set in a two foot deep pool, and features fountains, jets that spray water from all directions, and slides. But the icing on the cake is a large bucket set at the very tippy top of the 'tree house', which holds up to five hundred (if I recall correctly) gallons of water, and, when it is filled to capacity, empties itself upon eager bathers at regular intervals. Let me tell you, there is nothing like having 500 gallons of water dumped on you, it's traumatizing, and yet a very thrilling experience.

Since the bucket was still filling, Acacia and I cavorted about, playing in the fountains and jets, and going down one of the slides. It was kind of fun, but what I really wanted to do was be under that bucket! Eventually, when it looked like the bucket was reaching its peak, we stood under it, joined by other park goers. See, every time the bucket gets ready to empty itself, a large gathering of people starts to form underneath it, reminding me of in a strange way of a religious cult. It's the way they all stand, perfectly still, eyes cast toward their deity, The Bucket. Acacia and I stood in the very center of this congregation of The Church of the Bucket.

After a long wait (which we endured by running under the little waterfalls that happened to be nearby) the bucket finally unleashed it's five hundred gallons of aquatic rage. The water came down on us in a violent torrent, knocking my glasses off to the side of my head. I clung to Acacia, the two of us screaming Hetalia references at the top of our lungs. While the duration of the epic soaking may last only a few seconds, it does feel like forever, and we were right in the thick of it, so we bore the brunt of The Bucket's fury. It was surreal, being engulfed and trapped in this strange watery cocoon, unable to move. When it was over, I fixed my glasses and checked my jewelry to see if any of it had been torn off by the force of the water. Luckily, it had not and Acacia and I wrung ourselves out, then decided to visit the Lumberjack Splash Wavepool. A wave pool, is essentially a giant swimming pool, with waves created by a machine. Set at times intervals, they;re supposed to simulate waves in the ocean. The first time I entered this wave pool, at the tender age of 11, I nearly drowned, because I was not a strong swimmer and the waves were too big for me. A life guard had seen me struggling, but made no moves to help me.

Now that I was older I feared this wave pool less, though I still fear drowning (since I have nearly drowned several times in my life, I think this phobia is rational). Acacia and I waded in, just as the waves were starting. We went out as far as we could go, where the waves were the highest and fiercest. Unafraid, I threw myself into the waves, stood in the face of them and let them rock me. I wished I had an inner tube so I could ride them, but I still enjoyed the feeling of the water cradling me, like being wrapped in the arms of a great sea goddess .It's almost as good as being in the ocean. Then, as the waves began to die down, it was almost relaxing. When they were completely gone, and pool became just like any regular pool, Acacia and I paddled around for a bit, then decided it was time to leave Splashwater Kingdom. We were cooled off sufficiently and wanted to go back to the rest of the park, to enjoy the thrills offered there.

I warn you, the next installment, might take me awhile. My memory is fuzzed up again, and I am unable to get the chronological stuff in order. But bear with me, and thanks for reading.

The Great Escape Part 6

This is the final chapter of my second memoir. Have you noticed all my little memoirs are about visiting amusement parks? Maybe I should find another memoir subject...

Part 6: A Lasting Impression
Our trip to the Great Escape was almost over. We had a few more rides to go on, and then we would take our leave, ending one of the most exciting days of my young life.
As I've mentioned multiple times, while I remember most of what I did during this day, I do not remember the chronological order. I do not know if I went on the Alpine before the Comet, or if I rode the Raging River before or after either of those rides. But since I've already described the former two rides to you, I will now bore you with a brief summary of the first time I rode the Raging River, before I finish this tale altogether.

The Raging River, is a river rafting ride that is commonly found at most amusement parks. Six riders sit in a circular raft, safely cradled in high-backed seats. Restraints generally consist of seat belts, and riders can hold onto a large ring in the center of the craft. Since it's essentially controlled white water rafting, you will get very wet.
I remember the line was very long, because it is one of those extended wait rides. Whoever planned the layout of the park must have anticipated this, for there were vending machines, and a snack bar set up in the line, so one could get some snacks to keep themselves busy, or stave off hunger pain as we wait over an hour for a ride that only takes like ten minutes.
As we got further in line, we found ourselves standing on a bridge over the artificial river. From our vantage point, we could get a good look at riders sailing out in their rafts, as well as people squirting water at them from coin-operated water guns, set up on the cement walls that keep guests from falling in the river. Park goers idling along the hard blacktop could pay a few coins and torment people on The Raging River, if they so desired. I find this to be a rather obnoxious and malicious form of entertainment if you ask me. Most of the people who take advantage of these squirt guns are young immature boys aged 8 to 15. Those in the rafts usually retaliate against these hooligans with a few choice words and certain gesture involving the middle finger.

One of the interesting things about this ride is the fact that the river and it's rafts are kept moving by a gigantic wooden wheel. In the center of this wheel is a cement block with a wall of cubbies where riders can keep their belongings.
When it was our turn, we walked off a ramp that arched over the wheel (if I recall correctly, which I'm not sure I do) and onto the cement center to store our things. Then in order to get to our perpetually moving rafts, we had to walk onto the wheel itself. The planks were a little slippery and it was a little strange walking on something that was moving (though if you kept moving you wouldn't really feel it). The edge of the wheel was covered in black rubber.
All three of the adults were to go in one raft, and all four of us kids were to ride in another. The rafts can hold up to six people, but since there were seven of us, the only sensible solution was to split the kids and the adults. Awkwardly, I climbed into the wet raft with my sister and cousins, hoping not to sit in a puddle of water.

The ride started out agonizingly slow, pushed along by the wheel, until it dropped onto the river course. As we went under the bridge where people stood waiting in line, we probably got squirted at by people with those cursed coin-operated water guns.
I remember being very excited to be on this ride, as it sped up and started cresting the swells. However, the excitement soon turned to panic. You see, at one point the ride was stopped by two metal bars that sprang up from the bottom of canal. I'm sure there was a good reason for us to stop, but I do not know what it could be, not even today. Usually though, the pause is very brief, less than a minute, but somehow it was delayed, and we were stuck! Our raft began to list to one side, obviously starting to sink. I was certainly frightened, and I am sure the others were too, but before it got any worse, the bars moved, and we were released. It was a very lucky thing too, because people have died on this kind of ride, when the raft flips over or sinks. They drown, for they are trapped by the very seat belts that were supposed to keep them safe, or they cannot get out from under the heavy raft. It is a disturbing, to think of the horror the victims of these accidents must have felt before they died.

After that ordeal, the ride was very enjoyable. We got splashed by waterfalls, and water sloshed over the sides of the black and yellow raft, getting us drenched. I didn't get as wet as my sister and cousins did if I recall, but I think I got soaked pretty decently.
The ride ended when it was pulled up a conveyor belt, returning our raft to the great wheel (Sounds slightly symbolic doesn't it?). One or two ride attendants stopped the raft so we could climb out, and let the next group of riders board.

Now that we've finished our interlude with The Raging River, I suppose I can end this long-winded story once and for all. We ended our day in the park in The Old West themed section of the park, where we rode The Desperado Plunge a second time (though this time I think I insisted on sitting in the back where the water couldn't splash me too badly.) After we rode that, my cousins and I rode the Condor at least two or three times.  I seemed to have forgotten that earlier that day the ride traumatized me completely. I am terrified of heights, especially if I'm dangling inside a bird shaped capsule that lacks a seat belt. I can ride roller coasters, I can ride 192 foot towers that drop you at startling speeds, but for the love of God, I can NOT ride the Condor or any ride similar to it. Maybe it's the way those capsules have a terrible habit of swaying and squeaking in such a way that it makes me think the whole fucking thing will break off, leaving me plummeting to a messy death. But I still rode the damn thing three or four times that day, the only good part this last ride being the sunset. After all, who doesn't enjoy a good sunset?

Afterwards, we left the park, watching the place shut down. Amusement parks at closing are creepy places you know, the ghosts of the park begin to wander in that eerie twilight, the rides are silent and sad, and the animals in the petting zoo are left to their own devices. I often wonder where those creatures live during the off-season.
To leave the park, one must pass through the gift shop, a delicious marketing ploy in my opinion. Inside it was crowded with people, and we took a moment to admire the merchandise, but we did not buy anything.

I remember very little of the ride home. At one point, we stopped in downtown Lake George to eat dinner. We had McDonald's and I remember that the fries were very hard and crispy. In my Happy Meal, I got one of those plastic mini Barbie dolls that they sometimes dole out. It was her 'little sister' Kelly, in a little swing set. There was a little tab you could use to push her back and forth. Still high from my first encounter with the world of thrill rides (Well, technically my second, since I DID attend the Addison County Fair when I was four), I pretended that the swing was some kind of amusement park ride.

After eating, we wandered downtown Lake George, why I did not know. The streets were alive with tourists. There were vendors selling coke bottles filled with colored sand, and those foam animals that you could suspend from a wire, making them appear to levitate (I think I had owned one of those once, but by this point in time it was long gone). We stopped in an arcade, where my sister and uncle (we had long since separated from my aunt Amy and the cousins) played with a robotic hen that laid eggs filled with prizes. I got an egg that contained a little cheap plastic car, I do not know what happened to it. The arcade was strange and a little scary to me, for it was dimly lit and filled with strangers, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

We drove out of Lake George, and I noticed as we left, a small amusement park, still lit up. It amazed me that one town could have so many attractions. Besides the Great Escape, Lake George also offered a wax museum, at least two other small amusement parks, and outlet mall, a large mini golf course and a water park.
I stared at that glittering park, looking sparkling and lovely. It looked safe and happy. I particularly remember seeing a ride with cars shaped like hot air balloons. Innocently, I asked if what I was seeing was another amusement park.
"No, it's a birthday party, all for one little boy," My sister said sarcastically. She did that to me a lot, at that age her wit could be quite rude and barbed. Actually, it still is and she is still quite sarcastic with me.

Even though I didn't always get sarcasm, I knew she was lying to me. I knew no one would buy out an entire amusement park for one birthday boy or girl. Well, at the time I thought no one would do that. But we are currently living in decadent times, I imagine there are a few millionaires willing to blow their money on a spoiled child by renting an entire amusement park for the kid's birthday.

The ride home was long. I dozed in the back seat, visions of brightly colored lights and rides filling my head each time I closed my eyes. It had been one of the best days of my life, a day I would never completely forget, even though a few details have escaped my memory.
I don't remember getting home, I honestly don't. It was probably very late, and I was most likely half asleep. The long exciting adventure was over and although it was nearly eleven years ago, it has left a lasting impression on me.
The End

This is the second memoir I've written on this blog. I've got one more to finish. Will I write any more? And will I write any that aren't about going to amusement parks?

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 6

Part 6: Positively Drenched
We found ourselves speeding down the tunnel, water splashing around us. The lenses of my glasses were splattered, so I could not see, and all I could hear was the roaring of the water. Acacia and I screamed in delight. The turns and dips were sharp and sudden, and I had no idea when we'd end up dumped in the basin of the Mega Wedgie, or what would happen once we were in there.
Then, with a splash (I warn you now, this word and all it's variants are going to show up a lot during this chapter), we shot out into the large basin, which is shaped a lot like a bundt cake pan. The current spun us around this bundt basin once, then twice, and then a third time. This surprised me, because I had expected only one revolution. I was even more surprised when we got stuck during our third trip around! The current had washed us up onto a spot where there wasn't any water, close to the center. We were stuck on this dry patch, the water roaring around us. We frantically tried to push ourselves back into the current, I was feeling mildly panicked. We pushed our legs against the sides of the basin, and with some force, freed ourselves. We were the current once more, rushing towards the basin's exit. We landed in the pool with a great splash, let ourselves float for a moment, then rolled off the inner tube and waded out of the three foot deep pool to hand our inner tube to the next person in line one. I wrung the excess water out my bathing suit and we went to see what else we could go on.

We had only just whet (pardon the pun) our appetite for water rides, and were eager for more soggy thrills. We decided to ride Captain Hook's River Adventure, the same lazy river ride I discussed in another memoir. It's always been a favorite of mine, and I was surprised to see some of the changes it had undergone, not to the ride itself, but in the way people were using it. Instead of just floating down it on inner tubes, bathers were now swimming in it, alongside those using the tubes. Acacia and I decided to wait for an inner tube however, and got in line.

It was a pretty long wait, but it was bearable, since we were still wet from the Mega Wedgie. It also helped that as we got closer to our turn, we could wade in the man-made river, the water lapping over our ankles. When we waded deeper, it lapped at our knees. We talked to other bathers very cordially ( for there is nothing like an awkward, polite conversation with a stranger you'll never see again) and watched people get on their inner tubes, and if they had little kids, rest them in their laps. When it was our turn we were handed our vinyl rings of joy, and tried to climb on them. It was almost impossible, because they slip out from under you, the stubborn little bastards. I eventually asked a gentleman to hold mine down, which he kindly did. I settled awkwardly onto the thing, and let the current take me. Acacia, had no such luck climbing onto her tube, so she climbed through it, and kind of walked/paddled using the tube for support.

 This ride is wonderful, you just bob along, utterly relaxed, going where the current takes you. We passed under the bridge, but I don't think I got splashed by it's little waterfall. We talked to each other, and to the people around floating around us.
At one point, we were nearing that dreadful pipe that pours gallons of water onto unsuspecting floaters. One man nearby said "I don't want do go under that,". Just as he said it, I happened to be the unlucky fucker to get stuck under that aquatic torture device. It's hell being under a fountain or a spouting pipe, it feels like you're under that rushing water for an eternity. You can't see anything at all; you can only hear the loudness of the water pounding against you and your inner tube, and of course, that shit is freezing. After a few moments it was over. I was not hurt nor missing any jewelry, just soggy, so very soggy. Positively drenched in fact. The man who had not wanted to go under the gushing pipe laughed in a good-natured manner, and thanked me for going under it for him. I do not remember my retort, but it was probably a mixture of sarcasm and good cheer.

We passed a swimming pool attached to the river. Well, this was new. People were lounging by it, wading in it, and when they so desired, they would walk down some underwater steps into the lazy river. A lot of these swimmers were kids, who were eager to show Acacia and I that they could swim underwater and that they could swim like dolphins.
The ride came full circle eventually, and we found ourselves back where we started. Not wanting my pleasure to end, I asked the lifeguard how many times we could go around.
"Once" She said rather sternly.
Once?! Only once? You used to be able to go around twice. I don't know why they decided to change it; probably because the lines were getting too long. Disappointed, I dismounted from my inner tube, and handed it to the next rider. Then Acacia and I waded out of the water.
We then decided to go on the most epic water slide the Great Escape had to offer. It's called the Tornado, and it is a water slide that shoots you out into a huge funnel; once you're in that funnel, you're sliding up it's sides, thrown around at the mercy of the soggy elements. Then, after you lose momentum, you slide out the funnel into a pool.

I was a little nervous about riding it, because of how high the walls of the funnel were. But we gathered up our towels, and Acacia's sandals (I had opted to go barefoot) and went to get in line. It was a rather long line, and it would be a bit of a wait, but we were properly drenched and cooled off. So it wasn't torture, like the lines in the rest of the park are.
The line for The Tornado worked the same way the line for the Mega Wedgie did. There was Line 1, where you waited for a four person inner tube, which was shaped like a four leaf clover. In Line 2, you waited for your turn to go down the slide.
As we waited, we watched people walk past us with their inner tubes, most of them gaggles of teenage boys in surf shorts or skinny teenage girls in their dainty string bikinis. I couldn't help but feel fat and unattractive in my voluminous swimsuit which could barely contain my equally voluminous chest.

As we got further up in line, we watched people come shooting out of the mouth of the slide, shouting with joy and amusement. Some people had expressions that displayed only surprise and shock, as if the slide had been too intense for them. But it seemed most people enjoyed The Tornado.
After the long wait in the first line, we received our gargantuan inner tube. It was, despite being feather light, a very awkward thing, easily carried by four or even three riders, but not by two and certainly not one. To add to the discomfort of carrying our awkward inner tube, the walk from line 1 to line 2 happened to be a little bit long and quite impractical. We struggled with our clover tube, trying to keep it off the ground, not only to keep the concrete from popping the tube, but because the scraping of vinyl on concrete is an irritating noise.

So we waddled across the pavement with our tube, past crowds of bathers. We struggled up the wooden stairs to the second line. At the top of the stairs was a wooden bridge, that stretched across the great funnel that gave The Tornado its name. People were blocking up this bridge; they weren't even in line. They were just standing there, basking in the spray coming off the slide, and watching the riders slide up the sides of the funnel. Now that I think about it, I wonder if these people weren't just random bystanders, but were there waiting for their friends to go down the slide, either because they themselves had already ridden, or because they were not riding at all. This impromptu audience consisted mostly of middle-aged housewives and small kids, so I'm guessing the latter.

We navigated past the small crowd of people on the water slick bridge, and continued up more stairs to find ourselves in Line Two. We were very high up, more than 20 feet, able to oversee the entire water park and even some of the regular park. I felt a little bit dizzy and a little uneasy being up there, but what could I do? I wanted to go on this slide and there was, as usual, no turning back...

The Great Escape pt 5

I really have to finish this memoir, I've been paying too much attention to the other. Try to keep up!

Part 5: I Was Sternly Told Not to Yodel
Even though my aunt was hurt, she still took me to the lockers so I could change into my street clothes. Then, while she visited the infirmary, my Uncle Russell took me on some rides. I don't remember all the rides he took me on, nor do I remember the chronological order I went on these rides. This was ten years ago, after all; I cannot be expected to remember everything. . My memory of this trip is very shaky, and while I can tell you what I rode, I can not tell you when I rode it or in what order. It's very frustrating that I can not tell you this story in chronological order, but I suppose it is not very important.

I do remember my uncle taking me on a miniature ferris wheel, where the gondolas are shaped like yellow, red and aqua air balloons. It was kind of boring, I don't remember enjoying it. I also found myself on The Flying Elephants, a kiddie ride where you sit in a bad rip-off of Dumbo and go around in a circle, while you use a joy stick to make yourself move up and down in the air. It was pretty boring, and I kept my hand on the joy stick's little button, so I stayed up in the air for the entire ride. I hadn't even thought of making my elephant move up and down.

I was desperate to go on rides, it had become an obsession. I wanted to experience everything I could. So I flitted from ride to ride in the Fest Area, which was how I ended up on those damn elephants and few other baby rides. Some rides, I found I was too big to go on, such the Motorcycle Carousel or the Flying Dragons.
One of the other kiddies rides I had gotten on in my desperation was a tractor trailer themed ride called The Convoy. It consisted of miniature tractor trailers that slowly moved around a slightly curvy track. The tricks seat two people. One person sits inside the truck, while another person can sit on a little seat situated on top; each seat has a little steering wheel, so you can pretend you're really driving a freight truck. When it was my turn to get on, the woman operating the ride asked me if I wanted to sit inside one of the little trucks. I told her no, I would sit on one of the upper seats. I must have figured that it was bad enough that I was riding this idiotic thing, why further compromise my dignity and self-respect? Also, it looked like I would be too tall to sit inside, sitting on top of the mock tractor trailer was a sound decision.
The ride was boring. It was so boring, that I actually remember how dull it was. I tried to pass the time I was wasting on this ride by pretending I was really a trucker. It helped a little, but not much.

At one point, I also rode the Bumper Cars. While in line, I made a tit of myself trying to talk to some boys close to my age. I fumbled my words, and they laughed at me. Later, when I was out on the floor, they bumped me mercilessly with their cars, still laughing. I had trouble steering, and trouble braking the stupid car and if I recall correctly, the damn thing eventually broke down! My initiation into the bumper cars did not go well, and as a result, I rarely ride them. I find that people get too aggressive during this ride. Also, when you do get hit by another car, it does hurt. On one hand, they can be a lot of fun, but on the other hand, they can be very unpleasant.

The best ride I went on during this trip was The Himalaya. If I've got my history right, Himalayas were invented sometime in the late 19th to early 20th centuries. A train of cars speeds around on a bumpy track, and the breeze this produces cooled off riders in the summer months. Because of this, it was named after the cold winds of the Himalaya mountains.
The Himalaya ride at The Great Escape is called the Cannonball Express. It has some kind of swinging 60's-70's theme, with large pop art flowers, and figures of go go dancers and funky fresh dudes. It's colorful, alive with purples, sky blues, goldenrod yellows and aqua greens. Every time I go to the Great Escape, I ride it, except for once, when I went with Families First. During that trip I only went on two rides because the chaperon took us home early. She did not know how to handle my panic attacks and thought I had been misbehaving.

My uncle and I got in one of the cars, my uncle sitting on the outside, for he was taller. We buckled in, then pulled the lap bar down. The ride was fast and exciting, and music played the entire time, adding to the experience. I slid around in the vinyl-covered long seat, bumping into my uncle. I gripped the bar, straining my muscles from trying to keep from sliding around too much. I was having so much fun!
The ride slowed down after a few minutes. I assumed it was over, until it started moving again, only backwards. This was even more fun than going forwards, it was the best part of the ride. Sadly, they stopped making it go backwards a few years ago. I was very disappointed when I learned this. I never found out why made this decision either, but I think I shall ask someone, someday.

Eventually, the party re-grouped and the it was decided that we would ride The Comet. The Comet is a wooden roller coaster. In another memoir, I discussed riding it's doppelganger at Hershey Park, another wooden coaster of the same name, and an identical track.
My first ride on a wooden roller coaster was traumatizing. It was fast, rickety and the heights were terrifying. I love that coaster now, but as I kid I was terrified.
After that, we rode the Pirate Ship. Ship rides come in different themes, Viking, Pirate, even Nile themes tend to pop up. At The Great Escape, theirs is a pirate ship. Like most rides, I used to really hate this one, but now it's a favorite. As an adult, they're not as scary as they used to be for me.
My uncle led me to sit in the way back, the best part to sit. In fact, whenever you're in line for The Pirate Ship, it's a rule that the first place to get filled up is the back, because everybody wants to sit there. You can hope you'll get a back seat, but the fact is, the skanky teenage girls in front of you will sit there, forcing you to sit in the second to last row or even further up, near the mast.
But we were lucky enough to get the coveted back seat and I was especially lucky to get it on my maiden voyage (forgive the pun). We sat down and lowered the lap bar.

"When the ride is in the air, lean forward," My uncle told me. Being young and impressionable, I would do as he said, not even wondering why he had asked such a thing of me.
The ride started, swinging back and forth, simulating a ship tossing in the waves. When the side of the ride my uncle and I were sitting was up in the air, I did as my uncle said, and leaned forward, my bottom lifting off the hard plastic seat. I was already frightened by being so high up in the air and leaning forward added to my fear, for it caused a strange weightless feeling. I screamed, and never leaned forward again.

Afterwards, my sister went on more water rides, but I did not, instead my Aunt took me back to the fest area so I could go on more rides, It was during this time that I rode a few of the rides I described earlier, including The Convoy and The Elephants. At one point, I tried to convince my aunt that I wanted to go on the Rotor, a ride that spun so fast, you stuck to the walls while the floor dropped out from under you. She let me get in line, but when she warned me how sick it would make me I changed my mind. I also tried to get in line for a strange looking kiddie ride that consisted of an oval track and little cars shaped like mice. Unfortunately, it must have been closed down for some time, because there wasn't anyone else waiting in line or even a park employee to operate it. But I didn't realize that. I stood there, waiting, completely oblivious to the concept of the ride being closed. After all, there wasn't a sign indicating that this was so. Eventually, I shuffled off to find something else. Instead, I got to ride The Swings, which at the Great Escape they call The Flying Trapeze. I had always wanted to ride one of these, ever since I had watched my sisters ride it at the fair when I was four, and I could not, because of my size. But now six years later I was tall enough. So I got in one of the metal swings, dangling from long chains, pulled the bar down over my lap and clipped the safety chains together. My Aunt did not get on with me, but sat on a low wall nearby and watched.
I enjoyed the ride, while those swings spun around, quick as you please. It was kind of high up, yet I was not afraid, for the ride was gentler than a Pirate Ship or a Roller Coaster. I looked down at my aunt, and waved at her, which I imagine a lot of kids do when the adults with them let them ride by themselves. She waved back and I smiled. When I got off the ride, I gushed about not being afraid.

Like I mentioned repeatedly, I do not remember the chronological order I went on the rides, I really don't. I'm probably getting this all wrong, I could have gone on the swings before I rode the Comet or after I rode the Alpine Bobsled. Wait, I haven't mentioned the Alpine Bobsled? I should probably cover that, shouldn't I?

I don't remember at which point I rode the Alpine Bobsled. The Bobsled is a roller coaster, which instead of rolling on traditional tracks, goes down a chute, just like real bobsledding. It's actually really dangerous for a roller coaster, and a woman died when it went off the 'track'. But as a kid, I did not know that. I only knew that it was a long line. While we waited, my Aunt Amy brushed my hair, as it had gotten tangled. She mentioned that I had split ends. Curious, I asked her what that meant as she braided my hair. She told me it meant the ends of my hair was splitting in two.

The bobsled cars have the flags of different countries on them, keeping up with the Olympic theme. There was America, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, France, England and to my amusement, Jamaica. Those are the only ones I remember. We got Switzerland, and I was sternly told not to yodel.
The ride goes pretty fast, and you get knocked around pretty easy from all the jolts and sharp, swooping turns, but I liked it because it wasn't as high up as the other roller coasters. I also ignored the warning about yodeling, and gave some pitiful attempts at the vocal art, though my Aunt Amy would later claim I was a very good yodeler, in the way that adults tell you you're good at something, when you're really not. When you were a kid, did you ever try something, and know that you fucked up, yet your parents or teachers or relatives still told you you were good?

Soon enough the day had begun to wind down. We had a few rides left to go on, and then we would leave. But to hear about that, dear reader, you will have to wait until the next and final installment of this memoir.

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 5

Dearest reader, I hope you're keeping up, and I hope you're reading everything in order. If you're reading this at all.

Part 5: Blessed Relief
As I mentioned earlier, Acacia had left her bathing suit in the car. So before we could have our soggy romp in the water park, we had to make the long, hot trek out to the parking lot, where we were inconveniently parked way in the back of that dreaded asphalt ocean. Naturally, I had some complaints, some of which I vocalized, some of which I kept to myself. Mainly, I bitched about the heat, and the proximity of our car.
So we made out way out of Storytown and into the International Village where the entrances and exits of the park were located. I just wanted to get this over with, I was slowly roasting inside my own clothes, and my feet had already begun to ache. At the exit, we had our hands stamped so we could reenter the park. The old guy manning the exit flirted with us shamelessly.

You have to exit the Great Escape through their Gift Shop, there is no other way. This is some excellent planning on their part, because as you're leaving, you're exposed to their merchandise. How can you resist some of the fine souvenirs they're offering you? Drinking mugs, apparel, shot glasses and magnets all emblazoned with the Great Escape logo. Stuffed toys, jewelry, and candy. Puppets and sodas. Sundry items line racks and shelves. Anything you can think of will be there. How can you resist? Aren't your pockets just burning to be emptied?
But I did not feel any burning in our pockets, I was too busy concentrating on the sweet coolness of the air conditioning. Compared to the thick heat outside, the air in here seemed thinner and cleaner. It was a blessed relief, like diving into cold water or stepping into a freezer. We walked through the gift shop slowly, taking in the sensation of the crisp, cool air wrapping around us. I knew that once we left the gift shop we'd be back in the thick, soupy heat, and that the heat would feel much worse after having been exposed to air-conditioning. But I tried not to think about it, and concentrated on enjoying as much of the cold air as I could.

When we exited the gift shop the heat fell on us like a heavy quilt. It was pretty bad; in fact, it was downright terrible. The air felt suffocating and dense, thick and almost tangible. We trudged back to the car, cursing the heat. It seemed to take forever, it always does in this sort of humidity, but eventually we made it to the car. Acacia grabbed her suit, and then grabbed some juice pouches from our cooler for us to drink. We had left our cooler in the car, because The Great Escape doesn't allow guests to bring in outside food into the park. This forces patrons to either leave and have tailgate picnics in the parking lot, (which I have done in the past) or buy food inside the park. Most people would rather do the latter than have to drag their kids outside the park and listen to them whine about not wanting to leave. This senseless rule about outside food was probably made in an effort to get more money out of park guests.
The juice pouches were mostly frozen, thanks to my mother sticking them in the freezer a few days before. But we sucked out what juice we could, relishing the cold sweetness. Then, we walked back to the park, ripping the pouches open to scoop out the slush, chewing on them to force out the cold icy goodness inside. It was still hot, and people were staring at us, but it helped us feel a little better. We got most of the punch flavored slush out and into our mouths by the time we made it to the gates. Then, we threw them out (no outside food, remember?), flashed our stamped hands at the gate people, and reentered the park without a fuss.
But it was a long trek to Splashwater Kingdom. Consulting our maps, we walked through Storytown, and the Fest Area. In the Fest area, we found lockers to rent, but you could only rent them with an ATM like computer, a feature they did not have the last time I went to The Great Escape. People were swarming around these computers, complete pandemonium all around. My panic levels rose dramatically, and I had my one and only freak out of the day, as we attempted to rent a locker via computer. It seemed too complicated, what had happened to the old way of renting lockers? There were other lockers, inside Splashwater Kingdom, couldn't we try those? I begged Acacia if we could try the lockers inside Splashwater Kingdom instead.
Acacia relented, and we walked into Splashwater Kingdom. It seemed sunnier in this part of the park, and everywhere, people cavorted, the children in Noah's Sprayground, the skinny teenage girls clad in neon bikinis, the matrons in practical one-pieces. Even consumerism dwelt here, for there were inner tube rentals, and kiosks to buy ice cream and drinks. There was a little pizza restaurant and even a place to buy bathing suits, goggles and sunscreen.

In the large cement building with lockers an changing stalls, we found a table where actual employees were renting lockers. We rented a small one for eleven dollars, and went to put our stuff in it. But it wouldn't open. We stood there, trying to get it open, frustrated. Then it turned out we hadn't been given a special bracelet to open it! I felt so silly! The employees strapped the hot pink bracelet, similar to the type you wear in a hospital, around my skinny wrist. Then, I ran my wrist over some kind of digital strip on the locker, and the metal door popped open. I took out my bathing suit, shoved my backpack and towel in, and then we went to change into our suits.

My bathing suit is a one-piece, in the 'bathing dress' style, meaning it looks like a minidress as opposed to a suit. It's the kind of swimsuit chubby girls like me wear to hide our pudgy tummies and plump thighs, patterned in a motley of indigo, white, teal and iguana green prints and hues, with dapples of metallic copper thrown in. While it fits me fine in the hips, it's still too tight in the chest. No matter what suit I wear, it will always be too tight in the chest, because with an H cup, you'll always be too big for bathing suits unless you have them custom made. But if I maneuver my breasts just right, the suit fits just fine, and I still look halfway decent (though I'm sure some would say otherwise). Acacia changed into her red and white bathing suit top, but I didn't see her put on her bottoms, she still had her shorts on. At first I thought she had left them on out of modesty, but I later found out that she had dropped her scarlet bathing suit bottoms in the parking lot. Changed and ready, I shoved our clothes into the diminutive locker. There wasn't any room for Acacia's bag, so she stored her valuables in the locker and left her bag on top of the lockers. Then we headed outside into the hot sunshine.

We barely knew where to start, there were so many things to do. There were two slides I had never seen before, and rides that had been there for as long as I could remember. Most of the slides at the Great Escape, such as the Black Cobra, I have never been on. I've just never had the chance to ride them and I didn't ride them either this time. The lines were simply too long. I did ride the new slides, however. Next time I go, I vow to ride all the water slides, even if I end up spending all day in the water park.
We decided that the first water ride we'd go on would be the Mega Wedgie. It's a purple and turquoise water slide that sends riders spinning into a giant basin, before being dropped into a pool. It looked like fun, so we got in line.

Technically there are two lines; in the first line, you wait for an inner tube. The Mega Wedgie had a limited supply of figure eight shaped water tubes that can seat one or two riders. This line was at the bottom of the slide, by the pool, so that when someone finished the ride, they could pass off their inner tube to whoever was next in the inner tube line. Once you get your inner tube, you get in the second line, where you climb a set of stairs to the top of the water slide. It's all a neat little system. Of course, I imagine that by renting an inner tube, you could probably bypass this system all together.

Acacia and I waited for our inner tube patiently. It was much cooler in the water park, possibly a psychosomatic effect caused by the sight and sound of the water. Or it maybe it's not all in your head, maybe it really is just cooler being near the water, for scientific reasons that I probably learned in high school and promptly forgot. Pop music blasted from speakers situated about the park. We watched people jettison out of the bottom of the slide and hit the water with a splash, often accompanied with joyous screams. Now that I think about it, this water slide reminds me a lot of the digestive system. You enter the mouth of the slide, slid down an esophagus, into the stomach-like basin, down the intestine and out the bottom opening of the slide, into a pool. Actually, wouldn't that be a cool theme for a water ride? How about a human body themed amusement park in general?

Eventually it was our turn to receive an inner tube. I stepped into the pool, relishing the cool chlorinated water lapping at my ankles, to collect our tube from it's previous user. Now that I think about it, this too reminds me of The Dress Lodger, and Gustine in her pretty blue dress being passed from man to man like our inner tube. Maybe I need to put that book down.
We carried the pale blue figure-eight to the second line. Despite it's light weight, it was very awkward to carry because of it's size. But we managed to get it to the second line, and climb up the wooden steps.. Also, As we waited, we discussed Hetalia, and played with our inner tube by popping in and out of the holes in the middle. Acacia called it a donut, then we briefly discussed cartoons with the kids in front of us.

As we got closer to the mouth of the slide, we began to discuss who would sit where. Should I sit in the front? Or should Acacia? Acacia designated herself to the back seat, whereas I could take the front.
It was our turn at last; the lifeguard gave us instructions and we lay our inner tube in front of the slide. We asked the lifeguard to hold it for us while we settled into it, afraid the rushing water of the slide would carry our tube away, without us on it. So she kindly obliged, holding down our tube while we awkwardly settled into it. Cold water tickled my back and ass, the sound of the water filled my ears. I looked down the precipice of the slide, into the darkness below, the only light coming in was from the sun filtering through the seams of the slide. Then, Acacia and I pushed forward, and plunged down the throat of the Mega Wedgie...

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 4

If you're wondering what the title of this memoir refers to, allow me to enlighten you. The fox is Acacia's totem animal, and the squirrel is mine. I call her 'Foxy' now and again, and my Abenaki name is Mikoa, which means squirrel. Now, on to the story...

Part 4: Slightly Queasy and Frazzled
We survived The Sasquatch, quite impressed with ourselves for having the balls to ride the very thing we were afraid of. Acacia's reasoning had made sense. It was better get it over with right away, than put it off and give ourselves time to change our minds. We rode what we were afraid of the most, and started our day with a bang.

We briefly debated what to ride next, and somehow it was decided that we would ride The Boomerang Coast to Coast roller coaster. At this point in my life, I'd only ridden this coaster twice, once when I was ten, and again when I was twelve. Both experiences had been rather traumatizing for me, and as a result, my opinion of the ride had been a low one for many years, bolstered by the fact that a kid had become paralyzed after falling out of the ride. But now I realized, that if I could ride The Sasquatch and survive, then I could ride The Boomerang.
But before I rode anything else, I desperately needed to use a bathroom. So we wandered around Storytown, looking for a bathroom to use. We may even have wandered into the Fest Area (which looks like a classic carnival). As we searched, I took in the familiar sights, noticing that even with the new rides, the park looked very much the same as it ever was. Storytown was still very pretty, if not a little careworn. I also noticed that food and games were ridiculously expensive, much to my disgust.

After finding and using a bathroom (I'm sure you don't want to hear the details about that), we made our way back to the Boomerang. It was dreadfully hot, and terribly uncomfortable, but thankfully not as crowded as I'd thought it would be. While we walked, I noticed the Cinderella Coach ride. Standing in front of it, was Cinderella herself, trapped in her pretty blue gown. I think it was a prom dress, in a bright shade of blue, a hybrid of cyan and aqua. In hindsight, all this reminds me a lot of the book called The Dress Lodger, whose main character, named Gustine, is a potter's assistant by day, and a prostitute by night, decked out in a splendid blue gown provided by her landlord. Gustine spends her nights, exposed to inclement weather for hours at a time, waiting for customers to come and use her. Is the park employee not similar, in her beautiful blue gown, having to stand for hours in sweltering heat, waiting for park guests to come over and marvel at her beauty and ride in her coach? Boldly, I asked her if it was terribly hot in that gown, if surely she was not in some discomfort.

She stayed in character the whole time, replying in a sweet voice that it wasn't that bad (more acting I wonder?). We struck up a conversation with her, the girl never faltering in her smile and her princess voice, as we discussed the new ride, which she had heard you could view Lake George from if you sat just right. Yes, she is like Gustine, in a way. She must never show her discomfort or displeasure in her position. Being the Great Escape Cinderella can't be that bad can it now? You get to dress up, you look pretty and you certainly don't have to clean vomit. But unlike Gustine, I don't think she has to have sex with nameless, faceless men every night. I may have mentioned this before, I may even have mentioned it to Acacia that day, that throughout the years while the park Cinderella may change- be a different girl, in a different dress (though it's always a blue one), with different glass slippers, she is essentially the same girl. The park always casts a girl with light colored hair, either a light brown or a blond. Her eyes are probably light as well, and she is usually thin.

After leaving Cinderella, we finally made it to the Boomerang. When I first rode it ten years ago, it had been painted teal, a soothing color that was slowly fading with time. Someone must have decided that this blue-green hue belied the fierceness of the ride, for now it was painted red and yellow. Shiny and new. It looked much better. The Boomerang, as far as coasters go, is pretty small, but its power lies in the fact that it goes backwards and forwards, the origin of its name. It drags you backwards up a steep slope, launches you downhill, and then you go through some loops and twists. Then you're dragged up another slope, parallel to the first and then you repeat the ride in reverse.

The line was not as long as it could have been, but it was still a bitch to wait in. It was hot, as I mentioned, so hot that my denim Capris were sticking to my body. I was starting to feel fussy, the way a small child would feel. Acacia, bless her sweet soul, put her arms around me and spoke soothingly to me. She told me we would go to the water park after the Boomerang, which sounded really really good. The only catch, was that she left her bathing suit in the car and we would have to go back and get it. When I started to fret about that, she began to soothe me all over again. She is really very good at that, soothing me when I panic.

Whenever I'm in line for something, I people watch. It is a habit of mine. I noticed the women behind us were incredibly dressed up for an amusement park.Wearing nice clothes, makeup, gold jewelry and painful looking sandals. I don't get it, why do you need to be so dressed up for The Great Escape? Sure, I had earrings on and some nifty accessories, but I was wearing comfy clothes and sneakers and no makeup. I'm on my feet all day, and the makeup will just get washed off in the water park. I stared at their feet, wondering how they could walk around in dressy sandals all day. Practice, probably.

Soon enough it was our turn to get on the roller coaster. We put our glasses in our bags, and got in a car somewhere in the middle of the train. We pulled the shoulder restraints down, and I made sure that mine was pushed down as tightly as it could go; I wasn't taking any chances. I was incredibly nervous, more than nervous, downright terrified. But there was no turning back, I would not chicken out.
The cars began to move up the hill slowly. I tried to remain calm, but soon found my panic setting in. To keep myself calm, I began to sing to myself, an old Pagan song my mother had sung to me as a child. I wondered if it made the people behind me uncomfortable.

The cars had stopped moving, and we were now in that terrible pause right before the roller coaster drops. I was terrified. I felt dizzy, and because of the angle of the slope, I felt like I was slipping out of my seat. This was the worst part, being stuck high in the air, at the very top of the hill, not moving, choking on my fear. It was hot up there, and my vision was blurry without my glasses. I felt utterly helpless.

Finally the coaster dropped, speeding down the hill. My stomach dropped to my knees, and I screamed in fear and exhilaration. The cars rushed past the operating station, and went through one of the twists, turning us upside down. Then, it twisted again, swooped down and went through a loop, during which I screamed to Jesus. The whole thing was very quick and very exciting. It seems I had overcome my fear of the Boomerang after all!

Then the ride began it's trip up the second slope, to start it's backwards journey. This was a little less scary, because I couldn't see my ascent, only feel it. Then the cars dropped, and we repeated the ride, only backwards. It was a lot of fun going backwards, but I still found myself shouting "Holy Mary Mother of God!" at the top of my lungs, and reciting a few Catholic prayers, despite the fact that I'm Pagan.

The ride ended when it pulled itself halfway up the first hill, then settled back into the station slowly, in a manner that again, reminded me of death throes. It was over. The restraints released themselves, and we climbed out of the car,  I was slightly queasy and frazzled, but throughly entertained. We put our glasses back on, and walked away from the Boomerang. I felt like a champion. I had conquered the beast and won.