What I'm Thankful For

Well here it is, the cliche 'what I'm thankful for' Thanksgiving blog. In past years, I would have scoffed at this, rolled my eyes, because honestly, I didn't always have anything to be thankful for. I was tormented in school and didn't have many friends as a kid, and as an adult I'm usually very depressed around Thanksgiving. So, the past few years have proved barren in terms of thankful proclamations at the dinner table.
But this year was different. So much has happened in the past year, that I cannot help but become mushy and start to blubber my gratitude towards the excellent fortune I have received in 2011.
Not to say that there haven't been bad times this year, but personally, I have been blessed many times over. So let us hear it, what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving?

1. My Breast Reduction:
In February of this year I went to Dartmouth Hitchcock to have a consult with a plastic surgeon regarding the size of my breasts and the possibility of a breast reduction. It was successful, and we only had to wait for my insurance to approve it. But in spring my insurance underwent several changes, and I was denied surgery for yet a third time. But I knew it was over. My insurance changed again, and I went back for a second consult. This time, I was lucky and got a surgery date for the 12th of December. So I am thankful that soon, I will no longer be in the constant physical pain that come with having over-abundant breasts, and instead be in constant physical pain that comes from a major surgical procedure to make those breasts smaller.

2. Receiving Social Security:
As my readers may know, I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. As a result, functioning in school and the work place is difficult. I have to undergo therapy, and take medications to keep the symptoms of my disorder in check. In 2010, I had applied for disability, and gotten denied right away. I challenged their decision, and got a lawyer (who didn't do much). By March of 2011, I was approved and started getting checks in the mail. This has made my life easier, I can now contribute to the household, and buy things I need.

3. Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship:
In April, Scott dumped me. I'd been with him for four years, and during those long years, he treated me like shit. There were bright moments at times, and I did love him, but I was miserable. I couldn't talk to my friends, or do anything I enjoyed. He made me stop talking to other men, he threatened to leave me if I smoked pot, or went to college or did any of the things people my age experiment with.
He dumped me two days before my birthday, and I considered a reunion, but when he told me that if I could rekindle my friendship with my male friends, then he could 'fuck whoever he wanted,'. Sick of his illogical and childish behavior, I said goodbye forever.
I loved him, and I was sad at first (especially right after the breakup itself), but eventually I realized that this tragedy was really a blessing. I'm a free bird now, allowed to do as I please. While I still feel bad about how things ended, and the time I wasted, I don't think I regret taking back my life and becoming my own woman again.

4. The Drum
One winter day, I ran into a man named Whitewolf, who happened to be looking for drummers. I had no experience, but he accepted my offers anyway, and thus I joined The Voice of United Spirit Singers. After that my life turned around. I wasn't angry or sad or scared anymore. I was taking my meds, stopped resisting my therapist. I was regaining some of my sense of self. I learned how to drum, how to sing Native American songs. I learned about my heritage, I learned about who I was as a person. I went to powwows and met wonderful people. I learned so many things after embarking on the journey of being a powwow drummer.
I am thankful for Voice of United Spirit and her singers, most of all. They have become my family, and I love them as I would love my own blood. I don't know where I would be without them or what I would be doing. Perhaps I would still be in an abusive relationship, becoming more and more despondent as the days go by. I don't know and I don't want to think about it.

5. All the Small Things:
After all describing all the big changes that I am thankful for, I want to make an honorable mention to all the little things that have made my life sweet. My friends, my family, my cats. Sleepovers with Kenny, and meeting my niece. Going on drives with Becca, and to the fair with Arielle. Late night swims with the gang, the Shelburne Museum with my mother and sister. Cemetery trips. Swimming in the river, and watching movies. Lady Gaga.

The ABC's of my life

A is for Abenaki- I'm Abenaki Indian and very very proud. Except when people say we're not a real tribe anymore, and then I get pissed off.

B is for Breast Reduction- Being of a rather busty nature, my back can't take it no mo'. So it's time to surrender to the scalpel and get a new set of knockers.

C is for Cats- Preferable to people. Except when they pee on the floor and kick cat litter all up in this joint.

D is for Dominic Monaghan- Former hobbit and jolly good egg. Is teh sex.

E is for Egg Salad- Something I'm rather good at making. Don't leave it in the sun.

F is for FaerieInCombatBoots- My favored username on the internets for the last eight years.

G is for Graveyards- Cemeteries, boneyards, corpse gardens. Love 'em to death. Pardon the pun.

H is for H Cup- An unbelievable size. My bra cups, bigger than my head.

I is for Internets- Where you can always find me.

J is for Jack Sparrow- Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please.

K is for Kittens- Balls of fluff with sharp little claws. Good cure for depression.

L is for Lady Gaga- Say what you want, her music stole my heart.

M is for Morpheus- The Dream King goes by many names, this is one of my favorites.

N is for Noodles- Om nom nom...

O is for Otters- They eat on their tummies.

P is for Paranormal- A favorite subject to discuss and research.

Q is for Queen Anne Boleyn- My role model when it comes to love and ambition.

R is for Repo! The Genetic Opera- Zydrate comes in a a little glass vial.

S is for Squirrels- Totem animal and all around fluffy good eggs.

T is for Terrance Zdunich- Listen to 'Needle Into a Bug' and you'll understand why he's on this list.

U is for Underwear- You can never have too many pairs.

V is for Vagina Monologues- The best play I've ever been in. Take that Shakespeare!

W is for Winooski- Four years. Many memories. Some good, some bad.

X is for Xanadu- I've never seen Xanadu. I just needed something that begins with X.

Y is for Yan Yan- Tasty snack. Greasy little sticks, sweet creamy stuff.

Z is for Zoloft- A pill a day keeps the crazy away!

Rants and Ravings

I've been irritable lately. Maybe it's the stress I've been under, but regardless of the cause, I need to vent about some things that have been annoying me lately.

1. If you have facebook, and I imagine a majority of the world population with internet access, does, you must have noticed what I'm bitching about. Those little chainmails, that people implore you to post as your status for one hour, in the hopes of curing cancer. Seriously, they all say "Post this and we will be one step closer to the cure!". No. Reposting bland copypasta won't cure cancer. If you want to help cure cancer, donate to a cancer research foundation or something like that. Posting these stupid chainmails is futile. You think you're helping, but you're really doing nothing. Actually no, you ARE doing something, you're pissing me off.

2. Today, I was in Target, looking at the bins full of cheap items. I love these bins. You can find so many cute little things. But today as I was poring over these baskets, a woman was walking less than a foot behind me also browsing. You're probably sitting here wondering why this is pissing me off so much. Well, for one thing, I have personal space issues. Big ones. I don't like having strangers stand to close to me when I'm shopping. If I go to look at something and someone's already standing in front of it, I'd rather wait for them to finish up than have my personal space invaded. So with woman practically nestling herself between my butt cheeks, she was already pissing me off. Rubbing salt in the wound was the fact that she kept clearing her throat. Every 3 seconds. For fuck's sake, it's called a fucking cough drop. You can buy them right in the store! I can't fucking stand it when people are in public constantly clearing their throats and coughing. If my parents hadn't raised me better, I would have turned right around and told her to back the fuck off. I know she wasn't riding my ass on purpose, but it irritates me that a lot of people aren't aware of personal space when they're shopping. Maybe I should start wearing a sign that says "Autistic Person, Please Stay Back at Least 3 Feet".

3. Target's CD Return Policy. You can only return CDs if they are unopened and come with the receipt. Horrible policy. Most people return CD's because they listened to the album and didn't like it. No one buys an album, doesn't open it and then returns it. Target, are you fucking stupid?

4. Music Censorship. I'm an adult, thank you. I've heard all the naughty words before. And parents should be the judge of what their kids are exposed to, not the government. Last time I checked, this was still a free country and people were still allowed to make their own decisions about what they listen to, watch and read.

5. Lady Gaga's song Fashion of his Love. It sounds like bad Christian pop. Usually I love her work, but this song is one of her rare misses. Maybe I need to listen to it again, but my first impression wasn't a good one.

Well, that's all I can think of right about now. I'm still irritated, and this wasn't as cathartic as I had hoped, but oh well, it helps me practice my writing style.