What I'm Thankful For

Well here it is, the cliche 'what I'm thankful for' Thanksgiving blog. In past years, I would have scoffed at this, rolled my eyes, because honestly, I didn't always have anything to be thankful for. I was tormented in school and didn't have many friends as a kid, and as an adult I'm usually very depressed around Thanksgiving. So, the past few years have proved barren in terms of thankful proclamations at the dinner table.
But this year was different. So much has happened in the past year, that I cannot help but become mushy and start to blubber my gratitude towards the excellent fortune I have received in 2011.
Not to say that there haven't been bad times this year, but personally, I have been blessed many times over. So let us hear it, what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving?

1. My Breast Reduction:
In February of this year I went to Dartmouth Hitchcock to have a consult with a plastic surgeon regarding the size of my breasts and the possibility of a breast reduction. It was successful, and we only had to wait for my insurance to approve it. But in spring my insurance underwent several changes, and I was denied surgery for yet a third time. But I knew it was over. My insurance changed again, and I went back for a second consult. This time, I was lucky and got a surgery date for the 12th of December. So I am thankful that soon, I will no longer be in the constant physical pain that come with having over-abundant breasts, and instead be in constant physical pain that comes from a major surgical procedure to make those breasts smaller.

2. Receiving Social Security:
As my readers may know, I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. As a result, functioning in school and the work place is difficult. I have to undergo therapy, and take medications to keep the symptoms of my disorder in check. In 2010, I had applied for disability, and gotten denied right away. I challenged their decision, and got a lawyer (who didn't do much). By March of 2011, I was approved and started getting checks in the mail. This has made my life easier, I can now contribute to the household, and buy things I need.

3. Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship:
In April, Scott dumped me. I'd been with him for four years, and during those long years, he treated me like shit. There were bright moments at times, and I did love him, but I was miserable. I couldn't talk to my friends, or do anything I enjoyed. He made me stop talking to other men, he threatened to leave me if I smoked pot, or went to college or did any of the things people my age experiment with.
He dumped me two days before my birthday, and I considered a reunion, but when he told me that if I could rekindle my friendship with my male friends, then he could 'fuck whoever he wanted,'. Sick of his illogical and childish behavior, I said goodbye forever.
I loved him, and I was sad at first (especially right after the breakup itself), but eventually I realized that this tragedy was really a blessing. I'm a free bird now, allowed to do as I please. While I still feel bad about how things ended, and the time I wasted, I don't think I regret taking back my life and becoming my own woman again.

4. The Drum
One winter day, I ran into a man named Whitewolf, who happened to be looking for drummers. I had no experience, but he accepted my offers anyway, and thus I joined The Voice of United Spirit Singers. After that my life turned around. I wasn't angry or sad or scared anymore. I was taking my meds, stopped resisting my therapist. I was regaining some of my sense of self. I learned how to drum, how to sing Native American songs. I learned about my heritage, I learned about who I was as a person. I went to powwows and met wonderful people. I learned so many things after embarking on the journey of being a powwow drummer.
I am thankful for Voice of United Spirit and her singers, most of all. They have become my family, and I love them as I would love my own blood. I don't know where I would be without them or what I would be doing. Perhaps I would still be in an abusive relationship, becoming more and more despondent as the days go by. I don't know and I don't want to think about it.

5. All the Small Things:
After all describing all the big changes that I am thankful for, I want to make an honorable mention to all the little things that have made my life sweet. My friends, my family, my cats. Sleepovers with Kenny, and meeting my niece. Going on drives with Becca, and to the fair with Arielle. Late night swims with the gang, the Shelburne Museum with my mother and sister. Cemetery trips. Swimming in the river, and watching movies. Lady Gaga.