Sometimes, we want to say certain things to certain people. But for one reason or another, we don't get around to it, usually because we are afraid, or because we don't want to hurt the person's feelings. Tonight, I am going to make a bold move, and write out these things, these things I want to say. They are addressed to friends, to enemies. They are supposed to be anonymous, but if someone figures out the identity of the person these message are addressed to, I suppose I will need to face the consequences.
1. You give me the creeps. Every time I am nice to you, I regret it, afterwards. Because as soon as I am nice to you, you attach yourself to me like a leech. Then when I call you out on your clingy obsessive behavior, you lie and say you're just trying to be my friend, when really, I know you're trying to get into my pants. Speaking of lies, you seem to tell A LOT of them. Do you even believe the bullshit that comes out of your mouth? I mean, who are you trying to impress? Well, me obviously, and the rest of the girls in town, but do you actually think it works? It doesn't. It makes me distrust you. Do you know WHY I keep avoiding you? Why, after I declared interest, I suddenly recanted? It's because you give me a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Do you wonder why so many girls tend to ditch you? They get interested, and then out of nowhere, they stop talking to you, cut off contact? It's because you're a creeper. It's because you're a liar, it's because you probably give them the same bad feeling in the pit of their stomachs that I get. Half of the stuff you brag about, (which is mostly not true anyway) is nothing you SHOULD be bragging about. It's all stuff that sets up GIANT FUCKING RED FLAGS.
Also, it's called mouthwash. It's not expensive. Why bother dousing yourself in so much cologne that, if I lit a match you would catch fire, if you're just going to breath stank breath in my fair visage?
2. Sorry, the rant has removed due to the friendship of magic.
3. I'm sorry things ended the way they did. I'm sorry your life hasn't been easy. But I can't save you, it wasn't my job. I loved you, and I tried to make you happy. But like I said, happiness comes from within, and all that happy horse shit. You abused me. You claimed that you did not, but you did. Calling me a cunt is abusive. Telling me that if I don't stop talking to my best guy friend, you'll leave me, that's abusive. Forcing me to do things, by wearing down my defenses by begging and pleading until I say yes out of sheer exasperation, that's abusive too. I wasn't a saint, I did treat you like shit, but lemme tell ya, I treat my lovers the way they treat me. But I took responsibility for my actions, unlike you.
But once upon I time, I loved you. I loved you so much, and I wanted so much from you. I loved you so much, that I lied to myself just to keep you. Made excuses, bent over backwards. I'm never doing that again. I'm not sad it's over. I'm free now. I can try new things, and meet people and go on adventures, and not have to feel guilty. I feel bad about it ended, but I don't feel bad about having to end it. Sometimes I'm still in disbelief, but then I remember how bad things were, how miserable I was, and I thank Creator I got out before it could have gotten worse.
4. Sometimes I think you're boring and pretentious, but there's something about you, that I am just drawn to. I want another chance, and I'm sure you know it, but I'm afraid that it will never happen. But I still hope. I just can't help it.
BTW, if you're not interested, just fucking be honest and say so.
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