Fox and Squirrel Pt. 10

This may or may not be the last chapter of my most self-indulgent memoir ever. I don't know. As always though, my memory might be hazy, and I may not get everything in linear order.

Part 10: A Disturbing and Tacky Little Tableau
Right after we left The Steamin' Demon we wandered around a little bit. I noticed, set up around the arcade, were a bunch of coin-operated barrels, which would vibrate and bounce up and down. Being an immature git, I had a few crude thoughts about the vibrating barrels.
I also noticed a statue of a grizzled old miner. You could sit on his lap and have your photo taken. I briefly considered having Acacia take a photo of me with this statue, for a lark, but I decided against it. I thought it would waste precious time we could be spending on rides.

We decided to ride an old favorite of mine, The Desperado Plunge. That's right, friends and neighbors, they changed the ride back to it's original name! It was briefly called The Poland Springs Plunge, for obvious marketing reasons. But now it's back to its maiden name, why I do not know.
The line was relatively short, compared to the first time I rode it, back in 1999. We were behind some people, who I found to be rather obnoxious and poorly educated. You've probably noticed by now, that I can be quite judgmental.
While we were waiting, we somehow ended up cutting in front of these idiots. If I remember correctly, when the line moved, they were too busy yammering away to notice. They were holding up the line, so Acacia and I moved in front of them, I felt bad about doing so, but then I figured, you snooze you lose. They probably would have done the same thing to us.
Our stuff was already neatly put away in little cubbies, which, rather than being next to the area where riders board and exit, were right next to the line. They created a little divider between the line and the exit, so that when you left the ride, you could grab them without a fuss.

Our turn came very quickly, thanks to cutting those idiots in line. Our barrel-shaped, aquatic chariot floated up to us, the brown vinyl seats splattered with water. That's the one thing I hate about log flumes and river rapid rides, is that the seats are always wet.
Acacia graciously let me have the back compartment, where one is less likely to get splashed, and she took the front. There aren't any seat belts on this ride, despite it's steep drop. There are however, handles that one can hold onto during any rough parts of the ride.

The gate holding us back lifted, and the current swept us out of the station (perhaps with the aid of some gears and motors). The ride moved gently, bumping along the sides of the canal.
Then, it was lifted uphill by way of conveyor belt (a part I hate, because, despite the rubber coating in the conveyor belt, I always feel like the little boat is slipping backwards), to be released onto some rapids. The ride is faster and bumpier at this point, going down little dips. Water splashes up over the sides, soaking riders.
Also at this point during the ride, one notices the park's outskirts, a lot like a junkyard, where one can see the remains of old rides, rusting for all eternity. The Rainbow was there, it's lights gone, only a heap of unloved machinery. I pointed it out to Acacia, and told her how much I hate seeing the outskirts of the park.

I was enjoying the ride, until we entered the weird building which looks like a warehouse. That's the building which has The Great Escape sign painted on it's side (facing towards traffic), as well as a bunch of creepy dummies inside, which are supposed to be loggers. Those dummies have always disturbed me, because, let's face it, mannequins are creepy as fuck.
I looked around boldly, challenging my fear. I also remarked that the musty smell reminded of The Shelburne Museum. Then, came the part of the ride I dread. Right before the drop, above the rider's head are two sinister dummies. One of them is attached to a spinning log, seemingly in danger, reaching out towards the riders below him. The other is an equally terrified looking fellow, tangled in ropes, reaching out to the dummy stuck on the log. It's a disturbing and tacky little tableau. I had been hoping they had removed these chaps, but my hopes were dashed.

Right before we went down the drop, I looked to my left and noticed an employee, sitting on a chair. Why was he there? What was the point of sitting in that creepy, musty little building all day, with those fucked up dummies? I would hate that job, having to sit right in front those two creepy mannequins, watching people plummet down a hill, day in and day out.
We greeted the man, which I imagine most people don't do (I think it's the guys job to tell people to hold on tight or something like that). Then our little boat tipped down hill.
The drop was not as steep as I remembered, nor was the splash as big. It came up over the sides, but it barely touched me. It probably splashed Acacia a little more, though, seeing as she sat in the front.
The boat floated into the station and we got off the ride. When we went to collect our things, I was treated to a shock. My coke cup was gone! Someone had taken it, and thrown it out! I don't know who did it, if it was an employee, or if the people we had cut in line took their revenge on us by tossing my soda cup. Maybe someone had just decided to be a dick and throw it out, or they knocked it over. But it was gone. There had only been ice in it, but I was still highly offended that someone would be rude enough to throw it out while we were on the ride. It makes me think, if someone can just go into one of the cubbies and throw out someone else's drink cup, what's to stop them from going through that person's belongings and stealing?

I was still seething when we went to the photo counter to see the picture of us going down the hill. I can't remember what we looked like nor did we buy the picture, simply because we didn't have the money to spare.

We decided to ride The Canyon Blaster, which is a mild roller coaster marketed as "a family coaster". I was convinced that this was going to be our last ride of the day, based off of the information I'd heard about the park closing at seven. The park employee who had told us this had been wrong. The park closed at eight PM, whereas just Splashwater Kingdom closed at seven. But at the time, I didn't know that. I was convinced that, since it was so close to seven, that this was our last thrill before retreating home to Vermont.
The line was very short, so we had to do a lot of running to get to the end of it. While we were running, a group of fourteen year old boys cut in front of us. I expressed my frustration, and the woman operating the ride noticed what had occurred. She scolded the boys, and let us cut in front of them! I felt bad about it actually, having to cut in front of these boys. The whole thing wasn't a big deal after all.
But neither Acacia nor I said anything, and awkwardly cut in front of the boys. They apologized to us for cutting, (even though technically they had just passed by us while we were running) and I wanted to apologize for our being allowed to cut them. I had feared they would be rude to us because of the ride operator's decision, but that was not the case. They bore us no ill will, and even conversed with us briefly.

Acacia and I decided we would sit at the front of the roller coaster. I've only sat at the front of a coaster once before. It was at Hershey Park in 2007, on a coaster very similar to The Canyon Blaster. Briefly, I felt bad about choosing the front, wondering if the young men we'd cut had wanted the prize seats. But I wanted to sit there, and after putting our stuff away, we did just that, buckling ourselves in and lowering the lap bar.
The ride operator asked us if we were ready, to which we responded with a joyous shout. This response wasn't good enough for her though, because she demanded that we scream louder, before starting the ride.
The coaster was fun, but not nearly as fast or wild as the other coasters we had ridden that day. It had some some dips, some sharp turns and even went through a tunnel, but it just wasn't as fierce as The Boomerang or The Comet. When the ride stopped suddenly, my breasts and stomach made painful contact with the lap bar.

The day was getting close to ending. We decided there was still time for a few last rides though, and made our way back into Story Town, though not through the tunnel. We wandered the area, wondering what to ride next. Acacia suggested The Grand Carousel but I didn't want to ride that. I had never ridden the Swan Boats before, so I suggested we ride those instead. This ride consists of several swan shaped boats that tour around the park. By the time we got there though, the only operating boat was already about to disembark, with only a small family aboard. Though there was room for Acacia and I on the boat, we were still left behind. It was going to be a long wait until their ride would be over and there wasn't another boat or operator available. We tried waiting, but became very frustrated and decided to ride something else. I was disappointed, but did not want to waste time by waiting.
We went into the Fest Area and decided to ride The Sky Ride. It's a ride a lot like a ski lift, with little brightly colored gondolas which move slowly along a cable. The ride offers a birds eye view of the park and is very slow and gentle.
We got in line, which wasn't very long. The boarding station looks like a stereotypical Arabian palace, straight out of Aladdin, painted white, gold and purple. When it was our turn, we stood on a yellow line, waiting for our little gondola to come up behind us. When it bumped up against us, we sat down, then lowered the lap bar. When the ride is operating, the cable never stops moving, so the gondolas are always circulating. The gondola ride at Hershey Park does not do this. It stops every time some gets on or off the ride, leaving people dangling in mid-air. It is not a pleasant experience, especially if the kids in front of you are swinging their gondola back and forth, making the entire cable tremble. Luckily, I have never experienced this at the Great Escape. Also, it's verboten to make your gondola swing back and forth on their Sky Ride.

I don't remember what color our gondola was. It may have been orange. The ride was slow, and so relaxing, it was verging on the side of boring. Below us, a bunch of employees in Looney Tunes costumes danced to The Six Flags theme song. Other employees joined them, and even a few guests danced along. It was their end-of-the-day ritual, a signal to park goers that the day was ending, and the park would be closing soon. Acacia and I boogied in our little gondola, careful not to shake it too much.
The ride was very long. We spent it, not only dancing, but talking very seriously, about subjects I can't recall. I was feeling tired, and I wanted to get off the ride.

The worst part about The Sky Ride is when your gondola switches cables, so it can return to the station. This part of the ride is in an isolated part of the park, surrounded by trees. Usually, I hate this part the most of all, and feel so uncomfortable, but this time it wasn't so bad. Why? Because I saw a squirrel, running around in the woods below us, probably looking for scraps. Wild animals often live in or near parks, because the smells of food and trash attract them. Seeing the squirrel made me happy, during a part of the ride that usually makes me feel uncomfortable and even scared.
The final half of the ride was less than pleasant to me. I felt anxious to get off, partly because I wanted to join in the festivities below, and also because the tweens sitting behind us we're annoying me. I can't remember why, but they were.

When we got off the ride, I found that my legs were in excruciating pain. They had this heavy ache, which made walking difficult. Even though I had been walking around all day, they did not begin to ache until I had gotten off the Sky Ride. I thought maybe the length of the ride, or even the way I was sitting may have caused it. I just don't know.
Right next to The Sky Ride, were the swings, which go by the name The Flying Trapeze. We decided to ride them, making it our official last ride of the day.

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 9

And now, more of my longest most self-indulgent memoir ever written! I got my information on the parks history from themeparks.lovetoknow.com and wikipedia.

Part 9: This is Probably a Bad Time to Tell You I'm Pregnant
We wandered around the Fest Area, which is the section of park that boasts classic amusement park rides and games. Like many amusement parks, the Great Escape is divided into themed sections. I would like to take a moment to describe the different sections of the park to you, and discuss a brief history of The Great Escape as well.
First there is the little International Village at the park entrance. Designed to mimic a little Bavarian village, it mainly features gift shops, stroller rentals and park information. It's pretty but boring, seeing as it doesn't have any rides.
Then there is Storytown, which is the oldest part of the park, being 56 years old. The Great Escape was originally called Storytown USA, a Mother Goose themed amusement park that had been built in 1954. It had little child-sized buildings straight out of beloved nursery rhymes and fairy tales. It built up over the years, until it became The Great Escape in 1983. Storytown, is now the fairytale themed section of the park, featuring a beautiful river, rides, places to eat, games and shows. It's one of my favorite parts of the park. Those little child sized buildings are still standing too, though they're a little careworn.

Another section of the park is Ghost Town, which is the wild west themed part of the park. It was also a part of the original Storytown USA; it was created in 1957 when the owner, Charles Wood realized his park was only entertaining to little kids. It has some wild west themed rides, restaurants and shows as well as some arcade games.
Splashwater Kingdom is yet another section, a world of it's own. I think you know what part of the park it is by now, if you've read my last three or four entries. It's theme is varied, parts of it are tropical, parts of it have a Paul Bunyan theme. In proximity to Splashwater is a picnic area called the North Woods Picnic Grove. Large groups accumulate here for picnics, even though outside food is banned (Perhaps The Great Escape provides catering? I know Hershey's Chocolate World does). During October, it becomes a Haunted House, one which I almost went in one year, but the line was way too long. One day, I'll go in.
The Fest Area is supposed to be like your classic amusement park, with a Bavarian theme. I have noticed that a lot of amusement parks like to use the whole Bavarian fest theme, but I am not sure why. It has classic rides and games, lots of food and even a bungee jump ride, which costs 45 bucks for one rider, 50 for two and 60 for three. The fest area is the largest part of the park and features the most rides.

At The Great Escape, there are also sections of the park designated specifically for young children. The first of these is Looney Tunes National Park. The theme is quite obviously centered around the classic cartoon and major franchise, with kiddie rides based off of the characters. Looney Tunes National Park replaced Jungleland, which was a Jungle themed section created in 1960. It didn't really have much except a zoo, and a really cool Jungle Walk, which had fake animals peeping out of foliage and wobbly rope bridges. When they demolished Jungleland and made it into LTNP, they kept the Jungle Walk, but made it into some kind of Bugs Bunny walk. I wandered into this section of the park out of curiosity, once in 2005. I found it bright, colorful and rather tacky, to be honest.
The second section designated for ankle biters is Wiggles World. The Wiggles are a musical group just for little kids, in the same vein as Raffi. Parents blow all their money to bring their precious little babes to the band's concerts and to buy the albums, all for varying excuses. Some of these excuses could be honorable, though I think most people's intentions are less kid-oriented, and geared more towards one upping all the other parents in the "Who is the Number 1 Parent?" contest. Either way, in the end, the parents usually end up enjoying the cheerful demented music far more than the child ever does.
So The Great Escape cashed in on this franchise in 2008, creating a bright, psychedelic haven for little kids to play in, so that they could enjoy the park just as much as the older folks can. (Though I reflect now, that there are more kiddie rides than thrill rides at most fairs and theme parks). Wiggles World is the smallest park section, with only three rides and one restaurant. I've never personally explored it, though I walked past it during my most recent Great Escape trip.

Now that I have bored you sufficiently with a tangent of useless trivia and details, let me continue on with the true story. We were in the fest area, as I mentioned much earlier, and were trying to see how many rides we could possibly get on. I was extremely picky. After riding roller coasters and other extreme rides, I was craving an intense thrill. We chose a classic, The Cannonball Express, which is a Himalaya ride. I love Himalayas, I've loved them since I was ten. The Himalaya at the Great Escape has a funky disco theme. Usually, they play music to accompany you as you ride. But this time, there was no music.

Without the music, the ride wasn't as fun. Music adds to the pleasure of the ride. You don't necessarily need it, but it makes the experience a lot more exciting. When it comes to thrill rides, music adds to the sensory experience. I have noticed this is especially so with Himalayas and scramblers, but I have not figured out a reason yet.
The ride went fast, but not fast enough, nor did it last as long as I had hoped. Like I said, without the music it didn't satisfy as well as it could of. Anyway, I liked the Cannonball Express a lot less since they stopped making it go backwards. When I first rode it 1o or 11 years ago, it used to go backwards and forwards, but sometime in 2000/2001 they abruptly stopped the practice, probably because some idiot injured themselves.

After we got off The Cannonball express, we decided to ride The Blizzard. The Blizzard is a scrambler ride which is painted light blue, with a snowflake motif. There used to be a scrambler called the Magical Mystery Ride, which was housed inside a large green dome. In those days, it was painted bright orange, and spun you about in the dark, music and strobe lights adding to the fun. But sometime between 2004 and 2005, it was shut down and now there is a scrambler in the same area where the Flying Elephants ride used to stand.
Most scramblers are fast and furious, but this one was not going fast enough. This is the second time in the past two years I have gotten on a scrambler and found that it went unbearably slow. This usually occurs when kids are riding, probably because the ride operator doesn't want them to be too scared or get sick. Scramblers are supposed to go fast, that is why they are called scramblers. Their speed, combined with the circular motion is supposed to leave you disoriented and well, scrambled. Making the ride slow is, in a way, like castrating a bull. It takes out all the fire, all the fun. The bull becomes fat and docile, and the ride becomes dull.

After we exited the disappointing ride (I thought it was so, I do not remember how my companion felt about riding it), we went through the Alice In Wonderland Adventure. It's basically a walk-through, as opposed to a ride, loosely based of off the Disney cartoon (not the fantastic Tim Burton version of Alice). It's a part of the original Storytown USA, having been built in 1960.
We started our Alice Adventure by entering a giant hole in a tree, and walking through a bizarre red and black striped tunnel. Then we found ourselves in a room where all the furniture is three times bigger than you are. This room is actually very creepy, because it's so dusty and the lighting is bad. I usually want to get out as soon as possible.
At some point during the walk-through, we saw Alice's giant legs sticking out of a house (for some reason I just love that imagery). Also featured were The Hatter, giant mushrooms, flowers and blades of grass and the soldiers made of cards. I'm afraid I didn't pay a lot of attention, because I was too busy thinking of how much time we had left in the park. I was also distracted by the high-pitched whine of the child ahead of us throwing an epic hissy fit.

When we left the Alice Adventure, we had decided to ride the Sasquatch again. Our reasoning was that the park was probably going to close soon (it actually was not) and that we might as well squeeze in one more good ride. So we made our way back to the great towers and decided to ride the second tower, as opposed to the one we had ridden earlier that day. While we were getting in line however, a group of boys jumped in front of us, cutting us in line. We had been following the rules and not jumping over the line railings, but these little bastards disregarded that rule and us. When we voiced our displeasure, they behaved disrespectfully towards us. Then the two of us launched into a rant about how rude kids are. I am of the solid opinion, that most of today's youth are nothing but a bunch of spoiled, degenerate assholes. I know, it is odd hearing a 21 year old woman, still so young herself, say such a thing, but I stand by my opinion.
We were cut in front of twice while waiting for that ride. The first time was non-consensual, but the second time we let some kids go in front of us on the grounds that their group was going to leave the park in a few minutes and they wanted to ride The Sasquatch before they left. For all I know, they could of been lying, but we gave them the benefit of the doubt.

The second time we rode the Sasquatch was not as fun as the first. It shot up to the top of the tower, just like the last time, but this time, it seemed that we stayed up there for an eternity. We could hear the ride operator over the intercom above our seats, asking us if we were ready. Yes! Yes, we were! So let's get it over with!
When it finally did drop, I felt sick to my stomach. It didn't feel as exhilarating as it did the first time. In fact, it was actually a bit frightening this time. I do not know why this was so.
We got off the Sasquatch, and decided that it was high time to get some funnel cake. I love funnel cake. It's like a fancy version of fry bread, and is often served with powdered sugar or even soft serve ice cream. They are usually found at theme parks and festivals, like most other tasty artery clogging snacks.
I bought a funnel cake and a coke for Acacia and I to share. The whole thing cost around eleven dollars. It never ceases to amaze me, just how ludicrously expensive amusement park food is. But what choice does one have? Sometimes, you just have to have a funnel cake. People will pay these exorbitant prices, because they love the delicious unhealthy treats sold at theme parks and because Americans in general just love spending their cash. We're addicted to consumerism. We'll bitch and moan about the expense, but we will pay anyway, simply because that's how we're programmed.

We sat down on a bench and ate the hot funnel cake, powdered sugar dusting our chests and grease coating our fingertips. It was very delicious. Funnel cake is slightly crunchier than fry bread (fried dough), possibly because of it's shape. I enjoy this texture difference very much. As much as I love my fry bread (and trust me, I love my fry bread), I actually prefer funnel cake, especially with vanilla soft serve as a topping. Whoever decided that hot fried dough and cold sweet ice cream go good together should be given a Nobel prize.
When we finished eating, we stood up, brushed the powdered sugar off of our chests, wiped our hands off and decided what to do next. As we did so, I joked that the sugar on my chest looked like cocaine.
"Looks like I did a lot of blow," I had said.
We has decided to go into Ghost Town, and see if we could squeeze in any more rides (there was still some concern over when the park would close). So we tossed our trash, and made our way to the rock tunnel that connects Ghost Town to Story Town.

The tunnel was the same as ever, though it was not as cool (temperature wise) as I remembered. The gum was still stuck to the ceiling, though. When we passed the window with the waterfall, I stuck my hand under the water, which by this time of the day was lukewarm. Families with screaming, bawling kids walked past us, headed in the opposite direction. The tunnel was much longer than I remembered.
On the other side, Ghost Town lived up to it's moniker. It was quite empty, only a few people milling around. It was a little drab and boring compared to the rest of the park and didn't have a lot of rides. It has in total, four rides, I think. It used to have five but, The Nightmare roller coaster shut down for some mysterious reason. I always wanted to ride that, but never got to. The line was always too long. It also used to have an old-timey train ride, but I think that was closed down before I even started going to the Great Escape.
We bypassed The Condor, the "family thrill ride" which has traumatized me so many times and went straight for The Steamin' Demon roller coaster, which I hadn't ridden in ten years, not since my very first trip to the Great Escape.
The line for the coaster was rather short. It was nearing the end of the day, and there were much less people at the park, so the lines to rides were shorter
Our turn arrived, and we sat in my usual spot, in the middle, slightly near the back. We stored our glasses in the cubbies, buckled in and pulled the shoulder restraints down. I was only slightly nervous, not having ridden this coaster in ten long years, but willing do it, still high from the adrenaline rush of The Sasquatch and The Comet.

Like the Comet, this steel coaster started out slowly, staying low to the ground, before climbing up a steep hill. During our ascent, I turned to Acacia and said jokingly, loud enough for the other riders to hear:
"This is probably a bad time to tell you I'm pregnant,"
I don't rightly remember her reaction, but I do remember telling her that I love the idea of telling someone that you're pregnant, while riding a roller coaster. I've decided that every time I ride a roller coaster, I'm going to turn to the person next to me, and tell them that I am expecting.
At the top of the hill, instead of dropping right away, we made a sharp turn which led us to a very steep drop. We plummeted down the hill, then before we could fathom what was happening we were going through a loop, then several corkscrew turns. The Steamin' Demon is very fast and disorienting in this way. The ride isn't very long, but it's very exciting.
When we returned to the station, the ride operator didn't stop the ride or anything, he actually let us go through a second time! This happens rarely in the world of amusement parks, usually because of long lines, but here we were being given a twofer!
The second time around was just as fun, but this time, I noticed that during the corkscrew turns, my head would knock into the sides of the shoulder restraints, boxing my ears painfully. But I endured this as gracefully as I could, if one can be graceful while riding a roller coaster.
When we got off the ride, we got right back in line, to ride it all over again. Once on the ride, we made the usual jokes about being pregnant on roller coaster ("though not for long" I added). Also, during this ride, I experienced another painful ear boxing at the hands of my treacherous shoulder restraints (I love how the very devices that are supposed to keep you safe, get you hurt!).
The ride ended quickly, no twofer this time around, and we made our exit. I was slightly bitter that we didn't go around twice again, but shook it off. We had other rides to ride and not a lot of time to do it.

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 3

Part 3: Great Amusement and Frustration
Since I hadn't been to the Great Escape in four years, it should have been no surprise to me that there had been some changes. The first of these I noticed back in 2008, while driving past The Great Escape on my way to Glens Falls. Across the street from the park I saw a new hotel known as The Great Escape Lodge, which featured an indoor water resort. Another change that I had noticed in 2008 was the pedestrian bridge. It was a bridge that arched over the road so that guests could avoid the busy traffic and safely cross into the park. This particular road is always busy and crossing the street from the parking lot used to be such an ordeal, but now you can just walk over the relentless onslaught of cars, completely unharmed. It's a concept that I greatly enjoy. I hate crossing the street, and have long dreamed of being able to merely walk above it.

The third change I noticed, was that you could no longer park wherever you wanted. You had to pull into a driveway behind the lodge, pull up to a tollbooth and pay for your parking space. Parking cost ten bucks, and after we paid, the guy sitting in the tollbooth gave us a little ticket of verification.
Finding a parking space was difficult. We drove past car after car, eyeballing the diverse license plates, searching for a space, while I squirmed in anxiety. Eventually, we found a place to park in the way back; it was shitty place to park, but a place to park nonetheless.

We got out of the car, grabbed the bags we needed and locked the doors. Then we made the long trek from parking lot to amusement park. It was a long walk, that led us past picnic areas, and little man-made ponds dotted with lily pads. I felt excited and anxious as we walked; I also had to pee, seeing as I'd been drinking tea and Capri Sun throughout the drive. It was a little after noon and the park had been open for about an hour.

As I surveyed the park, I noticed their new ride, called The Sasquatch. It consisted of a pair 192 foot tall towers, that took riders up in the air, then dropped them at a terrifying speed. I was surprised by this, because I'd assumed that The Sasquatch was a terrifying new roller coaster. I'd been hearing about it all summer, but the only pictures I'd seen advertising the new ride featured closeups of frightened passengers; they did not show the ride's construction. Acacia and I marveled at it with awe and fear and briefly discussed whether or not we would ride it. Acacia didn't want to, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

We walked across the bridge, and into Great Escape territory. There weren't any lines outside the admission gates, seeing as it was a Monday and thus not very busy. We walked right through, displaying our online tickets and made our way to a long brick edifice, decorated with international flags. It was here that you had your tickets checked and your bags searched. I was dreading this part. Would they demand to see my ID? Would they find the Xanax that I had stashed in my backpack?

They never carded or searched us, just accepted our tickets and waved us through the turnstile. Turnstiles, provide great amusement and frustration for me. It's very difficult to make that bar turn, most people push them with their hands, but I never do. I just walk through them awkwardly, pushing them forward with my hips and thighs. There's a lot of resistance when I do that, so perhaps I should just try using my hands...

We were officially inside The Great Escape. When you enter the park, you find yourself in some kind of Bavarian village, filled with different shops selling candies, clothes, Looney Tunes merchandise etc. Park employees take your picture, and tell you to come back later to pick it up. Sitting in the center of all this activity is a majestic statue of a bronze warthog.

We were stopped by one of the park employees, a camera in his hand. He was a young man about my age, but I don't recall what he looked like. He took some photos of Acacia and I, some silly, some serious. There's always the simple portrait where you and your companions grin genuinely and then there's the goofy shot. In the goofy shot, people make silly faces, pretend to attack each other and just generally fool around. I don't remember what silly things Acacia and I did for our pictures, for we never retrieved them at the end of the day.

Afterwards, we strolled into Storytown. I still had to pee, but that was soon forgotten when we walked past the new ride. The Sasquatch stood there, in all it's glory, in the same spot The Rainbow had sat four years earlier. The area was decorated with a Bigfoot investigation theme, complete with camping gear and 'evidence' of Bigfoot's existence. The two towers loomed above us in all their magnificence. Acacia said she wanted to ride it, much to my surprise. She explained that we might as well do it and get it out of the way. I agreed with her wholeheartedly, and we got in line.

I do not know how Acacia felt, but I was filled with fear. Why was I doing this? Was I doing it to prove something? Do I do it because I am afraid? I'd been on miniature versions of this ride before, little 30 foot plunge rides featured at county fairs, but this, this was a behemoth, this was a new experience.
It was our turn; we had chosen the left tower, we'll call it Orthanc. We sat down in two of the molded plastic seats, that encircled the tower (if you've ever seen one of these rides you know what I mean) the kind which adhere to the contours of your bum and legs. We pulled down the shoulder restraints, and then buckled the safety belt, connecting the shoulder restraint to the seat, snapping us in tightly. My heart was pounding, and I do not remember if I took off my glasses or not (I must have). I do not remember if I reached for Acacia's hand. I remember the attendant checking our restraints, which is always awkward, because they directly always connect at the crotch. I know it's their job, but I still feel uncomfortable.

The ride's operation is housed inside a building that resembles a Ranger's Station; the ride operator speaks to you via intercom. He asked us if we were ready to go. I responded by closing my eyes in fear.
"Stop that..." The operator warned teasingly. My eyes snapped open, he must have seen me closing my eyes; I decided not to close them again.
The ride began it's ascent. It was a slow ascent, and seemed as if it took forever to get to the top, as it does on any ride where you're being lifted up in the air. It's the same feeling with roller coasters. I tried to center myself, tried to stay calm. I refused to close my eyes again, daring myself to look around. The view of the park, and the mountains surrounding it were beautiful. I briefly thought about how The Last of the Mohicans took place in this part of New York. My fear dissipated, I was so taken in by the landscape. We were at the very top, 192 feet in the air, the world below us so very small.

Then the ride plummeted and it was a fantastic rush. My stomach dropping, the wind in my hair and face. We plunged back to earth at an alarming speed, and our screams were those of delight instead of terror. I wasn't afraid, I was exhilarated!
The ride slowed down, rose a little again, as if it were in death throes, then finally lowered and stopped. We unbuckled ourselves, and I climbed out awkwardly. I say it was so, not because my legs were shaking but because of the shape of the seats. The plastic seats are molded in such a manner that they resemble an imprint of someone's buttocks and thighs. This unintentionally creates a bump that sits between the rider's legs. When you sit down, you can avoid it, because you're throwing yourself into the seat. But when you get off the ride, the bump manages to catch on your crotch. At least when I get out of the seat that plastic bump manages to molest me, I don't think anyone else has this malfunction.

So, we survived the Sasquatch in one piece; we even enjoyed it. But before we could decide on another ride, we had to do one very important thing. We had to use a bathroom!