Fox and Squirrel Pt. 9

And now, more of my longest most self-indulgent memoir ever written! I got my information on the parks history from themeparks.lovetoknow.com and wikipedia.

Part 9: This is Probably a Bad Time to Tell You I'm Pregnant
We wandered around the Fest Area, which is the section of park that boasts classic amusement park rides and games. Like many amusement parks, the Great Escape is divided into themed sections. I would like to take a moment to describe the different sections of the park to you, and discuss a brief history of The Great Escape as well.
First there is the little International Village at the park entrance. Designed to mimic a little Bavarian village, it mainly features gift shops, stroller rentals and park information. It's pretty but boring, seeing as it doesn't have any rides.
Then there is Storytown, which is the oldest part of the park, being 56 years old. The Great Escape was originally called Storytown USA, a Mother Goose themed amusement park that had been built in 1954. It had little child-sized buildings straight out of beloved nursery rhymes and fairy tales. It built up over the years, until it became The Great Escape in 1983. Storytown, is now the fairytale themed section of the park, featuring a beautiful river, rides, places to eat, games and shows. It's one of my favorite parts of the park. Those little child sized buildings are still standing too, though they're a little careworn.

Another section of the park is Ghost Town, which is the wild west themed part of the park. It was also a part of the original Storytown USA; it was created in 1957 when the owner, Charles Wood realized his park was only entertaining to little kids. It has some wild west themed rides, restaurants and shows as well as some arcade games.
Splashwater Kingdom is yet another section, a world of it's own. I think you know what part of the park it is by now, if you've read my last three or four entries. It's theme is varied, parts of it are tropical, parts of it have a Paul Bunyan theme. In proximity to Splashwater is a picnic area called the North Woods Picnic Grove. Large groups accumulate here for picnics, even though outside food is banned (Perhaps The Great Escape provides catering? I know Hershey's Chocolate World does). During October, it becomes a Haunted House, one which I almost went in one year, but the line was way too long. One day, I'll go in.
The Fest Area is supposed to be like your classic amusement park, with a Bavarian theme. I have noticed that a lot of amusement parks like to use the whole Bavarian fest theme, but I am not sure why. It has classic rides and games, lots of food and even a bungee jump ride, which costs 45 bucks for one rider, 50 for two and 60 for three. The fest area is the largest part of the park and features the most rides.

At The Great Escape, there are also sections of the park designated specifically for young children. The first of these is Looney Tunes National Park. The theme is quite obviously centered around the classic cartoon and major franchise, with kiddie rides based off of the characters. Looney Tunes National Park replaced Jungleland, which was a Jungle themed section created in 1960. It didn't really have much except a zoo, and a really cool Jungle Walk, which had fake animals peeping out of foliage and wobbly rope bridges. When they demolished Jungleland and made it into LTNP, they kept the Jungle Walk, but made it into some kind of Bugs Bunny walk. I wandered into this section of the park out of curiosity, once in 2005. I found it bright, colorful and rather tacky, to be honest.
The second section designated for ankle biters is Wiggles World. The Wiggles are a musical group just for little kids, in the same vein as Raffi. Parents blow all their money to bring their precious little babes to the band's concerts and to buy the albums, all for varying excuses. Some of these excuses could be honorable, though I think most people's intentions are less kid-oriented, and geared more towards one upping all the other parents in the "Who is the Number 1 Parent?" contest. Either way, in the end, the parents usually end up enjoying the cheerful demented music far more than the child ever does.
So The Great Escape cashed in on this franchise in 2008, creating a bright, psychedelic haven for little kids to play in, so that they could enjoy the park just as much as the older folks can. (Though I reflect now, that there are more kiddie rides than thrill rides at most fairs and theme parks). Wiggles World is the smallest park section, with only three rides and one restaurant. I've never personally explored it, though I walked past it during my most recent Great Escape trip.

Now that I have bored you sufficiently with a tangent of useless trivia and details, let me continue on with the true story. We were in the fest area, as I mentioned much earlier, and were trying to see how many rides we could possibly get on. I was extremely picky. After riding roller coasters and other extreme rides, I was craving an intense thrill. We chose a classic, The Cannonball Express, which is a Himalaya ride. I love Himalayas, I've loved them since I was ten. The Himalaya at the Great Escape has a funky disco theme. Usually, they play music to accompany you as you ride. But this time, there was no music.

Without the music, the ride wasn't as fun. Music adds to the pleasure of the ride. You don't necessarily need it, but it makes the experience a lot more exciting. When it comes to thrill rides, music adds to the sensory experience. I have noticed this is especially so with Himalayas and scramblers, but I have not figured out a reason yet.
The ride went fast, but not fast enough, nor did it last as long as I had hoped. Like I said, without the music it didn't satisfy as well as it could of. Anyway, I liked the Cannonball Express a lot less since they stopped making it go backwards. When I first rode it 1o or 11 years ago, it used to go backwards and forwards, but sometime in 2000/2001 they abruptly stopped the practice, probably because some idiot injured themselves.

After we got off The Cannonball express, we decided to ride The Blizzard. The Blizzard is a scrambler ride which is painted light blue, with a snowflake motif. There used to be a scrambler called the Magical Mystery Ride, which was housed inside a large green dome. In those days, it was painted bright orange, and spun you about in the dark, music and strobe lights adding to the fun. But sometime between 2004 and 2005, it was shut down and now there is a scrambler in the same area where the Flying Elephants ride used to stand.
Most scramblers are fast and furious, but this one was not going fast enough. This is the second time in the past two years I have gotten on a scrambler and found that it went unbearably slow. This usually occurs when kids are riding, probably because the ride operator doesn't want them to be too scared or get sick. Scramblers are supposed to go fast, that is why they are called scramblers. Their speed, combined with the circular motion is supposed to leave you disoriented and well, scrambled. Making the ride slow is, in a way, like castrating a bull. It takes out all the fire, all the fun. The bull becomes fat and docile, and the ride becomes dull.

After we exited the disappointing ride (I thought it was so, I do not remember how my companion felt about riding it), we went through the Alice In Wonderland Adventure. It's basically a walk-through, as opposed to a ride, loosely based of off the Disney cartoon (not the fantastic Tim Burton version of Alice). It's a part of the original Storytown USA, having been built in 1960.
We started our Alice Adventure by entering a giant hole in a tree, and walking through a bizarre red and black striped tunnel. Then we found ourselves in a room where all the furniture is three times bigger than you are. This room is actually very creepy, because it's so dusty and the lighting is bad. I usually want to get out as soon as possible.
At some point during the walk-through, we saw Alice's giant legs sticking out of a house (for some reason I just love that imagery). Also featured were The Hatter, giant mushrooms, flowers and blades of grass and the soldiers made of cards. I'm afraid I didn't pay a lot of attention, because I was too busy thinking of how much time we had left in the park. I was also distracted by the high-pitched whine of the child ahead of us throwing an epic hissy fit.

When we left the Alice Adventure, we had decided to ride the Sasquatch again. Our reasoning was that the park was probably going to close soon (it actually was not) and that we might as well squeeze in one more good ride. So we made our way back to the great towers and decided to ride the second tower, as opposed to the one we had ridden earlier that day. While we were getting in line however, a group of boys jumped in front of us, cutting us in line. We had been following the rules and not jumping over the line railings, but these little bastards disregarded that rule and us. When we voiced our displeasure, they behaved disrespectfully towards us. Then the two of us launched into a rant about how rude kids are. I am of the solid opinion, that most of today's youth are nothing but a bunch of spoiled, degenerate assholes. I know, it is odd hearing a 21 year old woman, still so young herself, say such a thing, but I stand by my opinion.
We were cut in front of twice while waiting for that ride. The first time was non-consensual, but the second time we let some kids go in front of us on the grounds that their group was going to leave the park in a few minutes and they wanted to ride The Sasquatch before they left. For all I know, they could of been lying, but we gave them the benefit of the doubt.

The second time we rode the Sasquatch was not as fun as the first. It shot up to the top of the tower, just like the last time, but this time, it seemed that we stayed up there for an eternity. We could hear the ride operator over the intercom above our seats, asking us if we were ready. Yes! Yes, we were! So let's get it over with!
When it finally did drop, I felt sick to my stomach. It didn't feel as exhilarating as it did the first time. In fact, it was actually a bit frightening this time. I do not know why this was so.
We got off the Sasquatch, and decided that it was high time to get some funnel cake. I love funnel cake. It's like a fancy version of fry bread, and is often served with powdered sugar or even soft serve ice cream. They are usually found at theme parks and festivals, like most other tasty artery clogging snacks.
I bought a funnel cake and a coke for Acacia and I to share. The whole thing cost around eleven dollars. It never ceases to amaze me, just how ludicrously expensive amusement park food is. But what choice does one have? Sometimes, you just have to have a funnel cake. People will pay these exorbitant prices, because they love the delicious unhealthy treats sold at theme parks and because Americans in general just love spending their cash. We're addicted to consumerism. We'll bitch and moan about the expense, but we will pay anyway, simply because that's how we're programmed.

We sat down on a bench and ate the hot funnel cake, powdered sugar dusting our chests and grease coating our fingertips. It was very delicious. Funnel cake is slightly crunchier than fry bread (fried dough), possibly because of it's shape. I enjoy this texture difference very much. As much as I love my fry bread (and trust me, I love my fry bread), I actually prefer funnel cake, especially with vanilla soft serve as a topping. Whoever decided that hot fried dough and cold sweet ice cream go good together should be given a Nobel prize.
When we finished eating, we stood up, brushed the powdered sugar off of our chests, wiped our hands off and decided what to do next. As we did so, I joked that the sugar on my chest looked like cocaine.
"Looks like I did a lot of blow," I had said.
We has decided to go into Ghost Town, and see if we could squeeze in any more rides (there was still some concern over when the park would close). So we tossed our trash, and made our way to the rock tunnel that connects Ghost Town to Story Town.

The tunnel was the same as ever, though it was not as cool (temperature wise) as I remembered. The gum was still stuck to the ceiling, though. When we passed the window with the waterfall, I stuck my hand under the water, which by this time of the day was lukewarm. Families with screaming, bawling kids walked past us, headed in the opposite direction. The tunnel was much longer than I remembered.
On the other side, Ghost Town lived up to it's moniker. It was quite empty, only a few people milling around. It was a little drab and boring compared to the rest of the park and didn't have a lot of rides. It has in total, four rides, I think. It used to have five but, The Nightmare roller coaster shut down for some mysterious reason. I always wanted to ride that, but never got to. The line was always too long. It also used to have an old-timey train ride, but I think that was closed down before I even started going to the Great Escape.
We bypassed The Condor, the "family thrill ride" which has traumatized me so many times and went straight for The Steamin' Demon roller coaster, which I hadn't ridden in ten years, not since my very first trip to the Great Escape.
The line for the coaster was rather short. It was nearing the end of the day, and there were much less people at the park, so the lines to rides were shorter
Our turn arrived, and we sat in my usual spot, in the middle, slightly near the back. We stored our glasses in the cubbies, buckled in and pulled the shoulder restraints down. I was only slightly nervous, not having ridden this coaster in ten long years, but willing do it, still high from the adrenaline rush of The Sasquatch and The Comet.

Like the Comet, this steel coaster started out slowly, staying low to the ground, before climbing up a steep hill. During our ascent, I turned to Acacia and said jokingly, loud enough for the other riders to hear:
"This is probably a bad time to tell you I'm pregnant,"
I don't rightly remember her reaction, but I do remember telling her that I love the idea of telling someone that you're pregnant, while riding a roller coaster. I've decided that every time I ride a roller coaster, I'm going to turn to the person next to me, and tell them that I am expecting.
At the top of the hill, instead of dropping right away, we made a sharp turn which led us to a very steep drop. We plummeted down the hill, then before we could fathom what was happening we were going through a loop, then several corkscrew turns. The Steamin' Demon is very fast and disorienting in this way. The ride isn't very long, but it's very exciting.
When we returned to the station, the ride operator didn't stop the ride or anything, he actually let us go through a second time! This happens rarely in the world of amusement parks, usually because of long lines, but here we were being given a twofer!
The second time around was just as fun, but this time, I noticed that during the corkscrew turns, my head would knock into the sides of the shoulder restraints, boxing my ears painfully. But I endured this as gracefully as I could, if one can be graceful while riding a roller coaster.
When we got off the ride, we got right back in line, to ride it all over again. Once on the ride, we made the usual jokes about being pregnant on roller coaster ("though not for long" I added). Also, during this ride, I experienced another painful ear boxing at the hands of my treacherous shoulder restraints (I love how the very devices that are supposed to keep you safe, get you hurt!).
The ride ended quickly, no twofer this time around, and we made our exit. I was slightly bitter that we didn't go around twice again, but shook it off. We had other rides to ride and not a lot of time to do it.

Fox and Squirrel Pt. 8

I want to warn you, my chronological order may be messed up, because my memory sucks.

Part 8- Eager To Ride
We made our way back to the lockers to change. On our way, we stopped at one those little outdoor showers usually found at public pools and water parks. These are commonly used to rinse yourself off before you get in the water, for hygienic purposes. They are also used after you've gotten wet, to rinse off the chlorine. But I use these showers for a special purpose. Ever notice how horribly cold it is the first few moments you get in a swimming pool? I've discovered that getting wet before you get in tends to cushion the blow and make it easier for your body to acclimate to the temperature of the water you're in. However, at the Great Escape, I have never experienced that terrible coldness while swimming in Splashwater Kingdom. I'm not sure why, but the water is always pleasant.

Acacia and I rinsed ourselves off with the warm water, which I found to be decidedly less pleasant than the cool waters of the slides and pools. Afterwards, we walked into the locker rooms, which echoed with the sounds of screaming children and gossiping guests. We collected our clothes, and herded into the same changing stall we had used to wriggle into our bathing suits. The cement floor was slick with water from all the bathers who come had come and gone throughout the day. I tried very hard not to drop anything. We dried ourselves off with our damp towels, and struggled into our clothes. The hardest part was getting into my shoes and socks, without getting my socks wet on the cement floor. I couldn't sit down to put them on, because unfortunately, there wasn't a bench in that changing stall. It was during this battle to change our clothes inside a damp tiny cell that Acacia told me she had dropped her bathing suit bottoms in the parking lot. She had been wearing her shorts and underwear the entire time in the water park, and would now have to walk around all day in damp shorts. But she didn't complain; she accepted her lot, whereas I would have bemoaned my ill fate.

We left Splashwater Kingdom. It is strange, while the only thing that separates Splashwater Kingdom and the rest of The Great Escape is an arch (bearing the title: Splashwater Kingdom), the two parts of the park are entirely foreign. They are two different worlds, but I am not sure how I can describe it. For one thing, the water park is brighter. There are less trees in the area, so the sun beats down upon the water and the cement. But despite this, it is much cooler than the rest of the park, possibly because of the presence of water, or because when you're wearing a bathing suit you've got more skin exposed and are thus cooler as a result. Your bathing suit being damp doesn't hurt either.

We wandered the park, deciding what to ride next. Acacia and I decided to ride The Comet. The Comet is, as you know, a wooden roller coaster, which was restored by the Great Escape. It's one of my favorite rides at the park, for I do prefer wooden roller coasters over steel. Acacia and I got into line; it was not horribly long, though there was a large group of hyperactive kids in front of us. Kids always seem eager to ride this coaster, but I've never figured out why.

When it was our turn, we climbed into the old fashioned cars (though not before putting our bags and glasses in the provided cubbies). There are two trains of cars, one red and one blue, I think we may have gotten the blue one, but I'm not entirely sure. Regardless of the car's color, we buckled the orange seat belts (I remember that) and lowered the foam-padded lap bar. Then, after the speech regarding safety precautions, the ride started.

The ride started out slowly, the track still low to the ground. I wasn't afraid, only excited, the first time I rode this coaster without any fear. The cars began to ascend the hill, the chain pulling us up, clacking and grinding. It rose high and higher, and finally we went rushing down the steep hill, the wind in our faces, screaming, you guessed it, a Hetalia reference. I had my hands in the air, screaming in joy. I kept my hands up for most of the thrilling ride, through sharp turns and swooping drops. I kept my arms in the air until the coaster jumped suddenly, and I felt myself being pitched out of the car! It isn't unusual for one's ass to briefly leave the seat during a roller coaster ride, but this time, my body had somehow swerved to the left, putting me at risk of being an amusement park casualty. The near danger lasted only for a moment however, for I grabbed the bar, pulled my self back into the seat and held on for the rest of the ride.

When the ride was over, we collected our things and went to the kiosk where they sell the photos they took of you on the ride. This is very common on a lot of roller coasters, log flumes and other thrill rides, to take a picture of riders when they're at a certain point in the ride, to capture the amusing expressions they make. Some people flash the camera or flip the bird. Acacia and I did neither of those things. What I noticed about our snapshot, was that I looked eerily like my mother in it. We decided not to buy the photos (not because of our appearances, but because we lacked sufficient funds.) and made our way to the Fest Area of the park to experience more rides.

Like most of my memoirs, my chronological memory is very hazy. I do recall that we were worried about the time the park would close. It was around two or three in the afternoon, and we wanted as much time in the park as possible. I began to feel a manic urge to get on as many rides as possible. One of these rides I frantically hopped aboard was The Pirate Ship. This ride ends up in a lot of my memoirs, for it is ubiquitous in the amusement park world. Every park, carnival, and county fair will feature one if they have the space and the money, because it is such a popular ride. It is a thrill ride that most people can enjoy (though I have witnessed them turning away children that are too short or people who are obese; the latter because the safety bar could not fit over their bellies), for it is not too extreme, but still packs a punch.

We got in line, hoping to get the very back seats (for those go the highest in the air). That was not our fate of course, for the skinny, bratty girls in front of us had that dubious honor. It is the cold hard fact of amusement parks, that the people in front of you always grab the seats that you want, whether you wanted it because of it's placement (such as the back seats of the Pirate) or if you wanted it because of it's color or design. It becomes a habit, when you're in line for a ride to give the people in front of you the evil eye, almost daring them to grab that seat you want, willing them, commanding them (inside your head of course, lest you look like a lunatic) to stay the fuck away from that seat you so desire. These death glares must be subtle of course, for you may be discovered.

We sat down in the third row, near the stern (the second row naturally having been taken over by another group of tween girls). The safety bar lowered automatically and the ride started. The group of young girls behind us, were screaming like it was the scariest thing they had ever been on. As we soared in the air, I rolled my eyes and laughed.

The ride was short, too short for my tastes. I like my thrill rides to be pretty lengthy, but it seems that they like to run them for only two or three minutes, especially if the waiting line is long. They need to make the ride fast to make the line move fast. But the line wasn't really long today, so that wasn't a problem. I don't know why amusement park rides have to run so short. We got off the ride, and gathered our things. Among our belongings, we had the addition of a coke cup. Acacia had purchased a coke right before we left the water park, and we had shared it. When the coke was gone, we filled the cup with water from the drinking fountains. Eventually when the cubes melted we got rid of it, but the coke cup would later be replaced.

After this, we made the not so sage decision to ride The Alpine Bobsled. I've described this ride before. It's a roller coaster inspired by bobsledding, with a nice Winter Olympics theme. Instead of traditional tracks, the bobsled modeled cars speed down a luge track. It can actually be dangerous; a woman died when her sled went off the tracks and crashed. Also, because of the poor neck and shoulder support on this ride, it is very easy to experience whiplash. I consider it the park's worst ride when it comes to safety and rider comfort.

The line for this was actually kind of long. The people in front of us were eavesdropping on our conversation, but to be polite we let them in on our discussions about Hetalia and American Indian culture.

When we made it to the station where people entered and exited the ride, Acacia and I started discussing which bobsled we would get. As I've mentioned in previous memoirs, the bobsleds are emblazoned with different international flags, coinciding with the Olympic theme. There is America, Canada, Britain, France, Italy, Switzerland, and Jamaica. Since we had been discussing Hetalia all day (which is an anime about the different countries that fought in WW2, it's cute and strange), what country we got was of great importance. We wanted Italy, or Canada, because Italy was my favorite and Canada is Acacia's favorite. Britain or France would also be acceptable, as would Switzerland or the United States. But we did not want Jamaica (though I used to want that one when I was a kid, because of the film Cool Runnings) because Jamaica is not in Axis Powers Hetalia. While we waited, we let some people go ahead of us so they could remain with their group, I don't usually like letting people cut in front of me though, but since it was an older woman with a child who politely asked for this, I relented.
Waiting in line for roller coasters reminds me of herding livestock. From the large single line, you branch off into a group of smaller lines, which are sectioned off by gates and bars. This method determines where you sit on the ride, in the front or the back. It can, at times be a little confusing and frustrating. Sometimes they have special lines that get you to the very front of the coaster, but they have none of that nonsense on this ride.

I can not remember which country was on our bobsled. It was either Italy or Canada, one of the very countries we had desired! I think for sure, that it was Italy, for I recall crying "Pasta!" a few times, disturbing the people who had been in line in front of us. We lowered the lap bars and got ready for the ride to start. I wasn't going to take off my glasses for this coaster, probably because it didn't have so many steep drops and it did not go upside down.

The ride started, and I found that I liked it a lot less than I used to. Yes, it was fast, but it was awkward, and contained too many sudden stops. Every time it would lurch or stop suddenly, my neck would jerk forward painfully, and my breasts and stomach would slam into the lap bar, causing further pain. The sound of the wheels on the luge, was unpleasant to my ears. All in all, I really hated riding this, and it put me in a bad mood. When we exited the ride, I complained about how unsafe the Alpine Bobsled was. They need better head and neck support for this ride, or they need someone to operate the damn thing properly. Maybe they need both.
We continued on our way; I was still worried about how much time we could have in the park. We would try to squeeze in a few more rides, maybe even get something to eat. Read all about it in my next entry!